Nurse Follies: A Unit of the Eternally Damned

I've come to the conclusion that the unit I work on is cursed.

I didn't come to this realization until my unit educator pointed it out. By golly, she was absolutely correct. Consider these events witin the last 6 months (all with different nurses):

1. Nurse up and dies at home.
2. Nurse has sister who has taken ill, probably mortally.
3. Nurse's kid has horrific accident on bicycle, subsequently landing in hospital for bad injuries.
4. Nurse collapses at elevator with kidney stones.
5. Nurse manager (Bosshole) falls ill with body part run amok, has surgery and stuff. Now, saunters around unit with weight and color tone of Casper the Friendly Ghost.
6. Crazy nurse terrorizes unit.
7. I have a flat tire.
8. We're understaffed.
9. Our unit has officially gone to Progressive Care.

So, it is probably safe to assume that my unit is situated on a Hellmouth. At any given moment, it is going to blow wide open and hell is going to empty out onto our floor in the form of 900lb patients in need of digital bowel evacuation, sue-happy family members, really dumb residents, and C-diff.

I suspect that the staff will start hanging wooden crosses and garlic at every entrance. Nurses will start passing meds with Holy Water. Checking for lung sounds will be problematic when assessing the undead (because they don't breathe).

We will have to find a young priest and an old priest. How do we bill that on insurance?

All of this will mean more paperwork for us.