Wednesday, January 02, 2008

First of the Year!

I read about Kansas City's first homicide of 2008, and it got me thinking. Do thugs plan on committing the first homicide of the year? Sort of the way some parents try to time the conception of their baby so they have a shot of having the first baby of the oncoming year, which earns them a shitload of new baby crap.

And if so, is committing the first homicide of the year something that earns the perp bragging rights? Is there a special gang award that can be displayed proudly in the crack house for all to see? What about prizes?? A new, illegal firearm? A discount on drugs?? Blowjob from the hooker that still has all her teeth????

If that were the case, it could open up the floodgates for all new year firsts. Hell, you could make even the menial of tasks in your life exceptional because it was the first one of that year: first poop of the year, first fart, first masturbation, first pimple on your ass...the possibilities are endless!!

I figured candy-assed parents employ this method to make every mundane thing their child does to be cause for celebration, why can't adults do it, too? This could be a trend!

Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to find something to do that I haven't done this year.


Well Hell Michelle said...

They get bragging rights just like all those asshats who post FIRST! on blog posts.

Heather said...

Those people need be beaten. Badly.