Thursday, May 27, 2010


She's fast becoming one of my most favorite comedians of all time.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

GB Explained

A long time ago, I started this blog as another way of journaling, letting off steam, making sense of crap going on in my life, or just entertaining myself. Along the way, people started to read, and I made friends, and more people started to read. Initially, I didn't care who read the blog. I still don't. However, I do feel the need to explain a couple things so some person with the IQ of lettuce doesn't read a post, and assume I'm talking about them. In my line of work, I meet a lot of people, and at least half the population is stupid and vain and naturally going to think it's all about them and their ingrown toenail.

Don't assume that it was you I wrote about when I observed a patient picking his boogers and eating them for dessert. My stories have spanned the ages, and to protect the identities of the intellectually challenged, I have taken creative liberty...changed genders, ailments, time lines. Hell, some posts I create and publish weeks, months, and on occasion, a year after the fact. Some of the stories, are told to me by other nurses, and published with their permission. This isn't just a blog about one nurse, it's about many. As far as the stuff written about my personal life...that's still mine. Sort of the way ideas and events in a book are changed when they make a movie out of it. Things are different, but the idea is still the same.

The crux of this is why I haven't been posting as much as I used to. I'm still trying to figure out what to do. Create another blog and start from scratch? Make this blog private and press forward? Just stop blogging altogether and let Big Brother win?

Life is full of tough choices. It's enough to make me want to take a nap. I think I will do just that.

Friday, May 07, 2010

Hell Hath No Fury Like Bored Federal Agents

Yesterday, Oz went about his daily life, and then came home to find federal agents in his apartment parking lot, waiting for him. Some were from the IRS, some from our very own Department of Homeland Security. There were six total. They knew exactly who he was, what he looked like, what he drove, and where he would be that day.

To describe Oz, would be to describe pretty much any vanilla Midwesterner. Pasty white guy with blue eyes. Who can also happen to leg press 760lbs. He's plays in kickball games, socializes, and is generally well liked. No, he doesn't have his own militia.

At any rate, G-men corner him in the parking lot, and not in a friendly manner I may add, and grill him about death threats he apparently lodged against the IRS. They had electronic transmission that served as proof of these threats, they claimed. That he had a gun, and he was going to shoot IRS agents. They were not pleasant, and Oz got the distinct impression from their tone and body language, that they were hoping he would do something aggressive. They were itching for a fight.

After twenty minutes of grilling, in an apartment parking lot, now with a audience, the G-men leave.

After some thinking, Oz realized just how all this came to pass...a crazy ex-girlfriend. A while ago, voicing frustration over the IRS and taxes, he cracked a joke about how taking out the IRS wouldn't be such a horrible thing via phone text message. Who doesn't make sarcastic jokes of that nature? Every day, lots of people do, and yet it is because most of us are rationale people, we never act on what we say. I joke that I'm going to toss myself off the helipad at work, but I have no plan on actually doing it. It's simply a matter of letting off steam.

Apparently, now even cracking jokes at the gubment's expense is against the federal law. We know this because Oz's special visitors reminded him of this more than once.

Big Brother is alive and well. Too bad they don't have the intelligence to investigate those who call in tips that White and Nerdy is reenact the Matrix shootout at a federal building. Otherwise, they would know that the tipster had a well documented psych history, lengthy stays in said nuthouse, and a scary obsession with her ex-boyfriend, despite not having contact with him for months and months. Oh...and she is the one who owns the gun. Maybe they need to look into that...why Crazy Ass is allowed to have a gun in the first place.

Obviously, Oz is furious. His belief that the government looks after its own decimated. Further research, by Oz, reveals that government agencies routinely harass people like this, and that Oz is far from an isolated case. When I tell people about it, their jaw drops. Obviously, his story is much more detailed than my second-hand information. So, he is writing about his experience, and when he is done, I will post the link from my blog.

We're told that the government works for the people. That the politicians should fear the people who elected them to office. Turns out, the government could give two shits about John Q Taxpayer. We are a dystopian country, only most people don't realize it yet. Our founding fathers would be appalled.

Canada is looking better and better everyday. I'm sure they need nurses there, too.