Wednesday, June 29, 2005

My take on the Broadway bridge

Ahh...the Broadway bridge, I know thee well. I traveled this bridge every day to go to school...each side reduced to one lane so the little men in little white suits could scrape the lead paint off the bridge and paint it a chipper color of gray. I do believe this task took the 3 years I was in school.

Now, I frequent this bridge during my commute to and from work. Because I work the night shift, I am always going against I smirk as I see the long procession of cars as they are racing at 20 miles an hour to get to work. Within the last year or so, we have been seeing improvements along the Broadway bridge extension. Weeds cut down to make way for wildflowers. Ooooh! A retaining wall with trees. Ahhhh! Two large concrete columns on each end of the Broadway extension. Huh??? For everytime I drove past the columns, my mind wondered with possibilities as to what the columns were Scout sign announcing the traffic jam you were about to drive into? Some banner to display welcoming various convention go-ers? Surely such large columns would have a clear and distinct purpose.

Sometimes, I underestimate the powers-that-be who run Kansas City.

It wasn't until a write-up in the Star solved all my burning questions about the columns that plagued my mind since the construction had begun. As part of the Broadway Extension Beautification Project, these columns were to symbolize one's departing from the Northland and their arrival to downtown KC. This was such a relief to us Northlanders, because up until now, we had NO IDEA we were leaving the comfort and security of God's Country (the Northland) and entering into the Outer Darkness known as Downtown. As an added bonus, these columns light up with various colors to coordinate with the colored lights on the bridge, and these colors would sometims reflect the season (Christmas, Halloween, Chiefs Home Opener, etc). When there is no season to display one prominent color proudly, these columns display them all...which only makes it seem as though Cowtown is continually hosting a Gay Pride event.

Wow! Over a million dollars was spent on this project, so we would know we were leaving the Northland and entering Downtown. Phew!! Good thing too, because that big bridge over the Missouri River was far too vague. And that ginormous pothole on the south side of the bridge that greets you by swallowing up your just doesn't express what Kansas City is about.

Apparently, lit up columns do.

Monday, June 27, 2005

The winds of change...

Another night at work, and it would appear that I might actually have a good night for a change. I've been giving much thought into the matter, and I am considering making a switch to dayshift to better accomodate a full time school schedule. I've been giving a lot of thought about that too. This fall, I plan on starting up with some pre-requisites needed for the BSN completion program. So, I'm putting feelers out for an open day-weekend option position. Most of the day people I have talked to are very supportive of it. I've not talked much about it to my night-shift coworkers. I've worked nights since I graduated high school. I'm not a morning person, but you do what you have to do to get where you need to go. I'm not really happy in my current position, so maybe a change of schedule would do me good. Granted, the respiratory therapists on days are no where near as cute and fun to flirt with, is it a sacrifice I am willing to make for the greater good of my nursing practice.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Ode to the Kidney

O Kidney
Perfectly symmetrical.
Overlapping the hand of the doctor
Who ripped it out of Liz's side.

O Kidney
We dubbed thee Moe
You immediately took to task
Filling a foley bag with golden streams

O Kidney
How we rejoiced
At the sound of tinkling
Coming from the bathroom

O Kidney
Eight years have passed
And still you bask
In our undulating waves of adoration

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Tom Cruise is a big, fat weiner

Matt Lauer should have taken him out right then and there during the interview...and no one in America would have blamed him. Tom, it would appear, is a self-proclaimed expert on psychiatry, medications and all the physiological functions of the neurological system. He only acts in movies so he can pay his dental bills. Everytime I hear about that man, his becomes more and more the world's biggest jerk. I'm officially boycotting anything Tom Cruise. He gives me the creeps anyway.

No wonder he has to go out and marry someone half his woman worth her salt would put up with a guy like that. Either Katie is that dumb, or she just can't past the fact that "Tom Cruise loves me!"

There are people out there who have real issues with body chemistry, and meds do help them. By Dr. Tom going on his big PR tour touting his pay-as-you-progress cult and its, ahem, virtues...he is playing a very dangerous game because out there somewhere, there is someone who is going to listen...and it is going to be met with very dire consequences. Brook Shields was totally right when she called him to the mat for his post-partum depression remarks.

I think Tom has ADHD, and is in serious need of Ritalin...and a Valium salt lick...and a psych eval.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Why its good to be an American

Oh joy. The Supreme Court has ruled that cities can legally take your house and replace it with a Krispy Kreme Donut shop if they want in the name of economic development. Boy, that sure makes me want to go out and buy a house. Just my luck, I would have the walls freshly painted when KC would come calling, saying my little piece of the American pie would be a perfect spot for a Big O Tire. I'd almost bet money that our Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves. Sometimes, I look at today's politicians and wonder if they are in it because they truly want to serve the people who elected them...or if they are just in it for the power and whatever perks come with being a politician.

I'm going to DC in August, and I am very excited about it. The top items on my to-see list are
1. The Holocaust Museum
2. Arlington Cemetary
3. The Vietnam War Memorial
4. American History parts of the whatever big jewels they have on display (what can I say, I am female)
5. Historical documents...Magna Carta, Declaration of Independence, etc.etc

I looked online for a possible visit to the White House. You have to reserve in groups of 10 or more, and 6 months in advance, and you have to go through a member of Congress (in addition to signing away your First Born son). So, it looks like I won't get to see the White House in my lifetime. I don't even think I know 10 people who want to visit the White House. I'm the biggest nerd I know.

In other news, Man-Ass is IN!! You know how these little young girls wear their jeans way low and you can see the buttcrack of dawn (and sometimes more)?? Well, it would appear the men don't want to be left out, so the new trend is wearing low-rise jeans so they can show off a little butt cleavage...but I am sure you won't notice if they happen to have a hairy butt. Plumbers have been wearing this trend for centuries, and only now it's hot fashion??

Thursday, June 23, 2005

First of Four

When making out the schedule, working a 4-day stretch doesn't sound bad...until the time arrives when you actually have to do it. It's even worse when you have just had a big block of time off. Sheesh...what was I thinking? Oh yeah...I was thinking about a new dining room table to match my oak china hutch that is missing the shelves.

Incidentally, I went to Crowley Furniture to see about ordering new glass shelves and the salesperson sort of berating me for buying a hutch without glass shelves. Gee...maybe because $500 sounded a lot better than $2K. Turd...go sell someone an ottoman or something.

My place of employment is all in a lather about attaining Magnet Status. Magnet status is essentially an award bestowed upon hospitals who kiss butt the best the bragging rights "our nurses are better than your nurses". It's a 3 year process (could be 2, might be 4...not really certain) and its all about the nurses and there is certain criteria we have to meet. Are we happy? Is our turnover really low? Do we offer this? Do we do that?? If we get this coveted status, the nurses get a pin and a glass award which will be displayed in an award case that no one pays attention to as they are booking it to the cafeteria for a $10 baked potato. In a nutshell, its an award the hospital can use for marketing so people will want to come here when they are sick.

Some nights are so bad, I wish I had the number to the Magnet committee so I can tell them where to take their little glass award. I don't regret being a nurse, and on the whole, I like (not love) my job. Sometimes, though, I feel emotionally drained when I go home. It's hard to feel as though you have made a difference when you see the same faces come in with the same problem which would be solved if people simply did what their doctor's told them to do. If you are diabetic...quit eating the damn Snickers!!! People who have big time liver problems because they like the Captain a little too much. The crack addicts who just don't understand why simple pain meds don't work to treat their pain. Throw in a couple people who tip the scales of 500+lbs, and you have a standard day on my unit. This is not what I want to retire doing.