Friday, May 07, 2010

Hell Hath No Fury Like Bored Federal Agents

Yesterday, Oz went about his daily life, and then came home to find federal agents in his apartment parking lot, waiting for him. Some were from the IRS, some from our very own Department of Homeland Security. There were six total. They knew exactly who he was, what he looked like, what he drove, and where he would be that day.

To describe Oz, would be to describe pretty much any vanilla Midwesterner. Pasty white guy with blue eyes. Who can also happen to leg press 760lbs. He's plays in kickball games, socializes, and is generally well liked. No, he doesn't have his own militia.

At any rate, G-men corner him in the parking lot, and not in a friendly manner I may add, and grill him about death threats he apparently lodged against the IRS. They had electronic transmission that served as proof of these threats, they claimed. That he had a gun, and he was going to shoot IRS agents. They were not pleasant, and Oz got the distinct impression from their tone and body language, that they were hoping he would do something aggressive. They were itching for a fight.

After twenty minutes of grilling, in an apartment parking lot, now with a audience, the G-men leave.

After some thinking, Oz realized just how all this came to pass...a crazy ex-girlfriend. A while ago, voicing frustration over the IRS and taxes, he cracked a joke about how taking out the IRS wouldn't be such a horrible thing via phone text message. Who doesn't make sarcastic jokes of that nature? Every day, lots of people do, and yet it is because most of us are rationale people, we never act on what we say. I joke that I'm going to toss myself off the helipad at work, but I have no plan on actually doing it. It's simply a matter of letting off steam.

Apparently, now even cracking jokes at the gubment's expense is against the federal law. We know this because Oz's special visitors reminded him of this more than once.

Big Brother is alive and well. Too bad they don't have the intelligence to investigate those who call in tips that White and Nerdy is reenact the Matrix shootout at a federal building. Otherwise, they would know that the tipster had a well documented psych history, lengthy stays in said nuthouse, and a scary obsession with her ex-boyfriend, despite not having contact with him for months and months. Oh...and she is the one who owns the gun. Maybe they need to look into that...why Crazy Ass is allowed to have a gun in the first place.

Obviously, Oz is furious. His belief that the government looks after its own decimated. Further research, by Oz, reveals that government agencies routinely harass people like this, and that Oz is far from an isolated case. When I tell people about it, their jaw drops. Obviously, his story is much more detailed than my second-hand information. So, he is writing about his experience, and when he is done, I will post the link from my blog.

We're told that the government works for the people. That the politicians should fear the people who elected them to office. Turns out, the government could give two shits about John Q Taxpayer. We are a dystopian country, only most people don't realize it yet. Our founding fathers would be appalled.

Canada is looking better and better everyday. I'm sure they need nurses there, too.


Xavier Onassis said...

Sadly, this story doesn't surprise me at all.

I don't blame Dubya entirely. The Gummint has been doing this sort of thing to the extent that they could for decades.

But Dubya's administration did use 9/11 and the public's abdication of any semblance of an assumption of privacy to kick on the afterburner and go to Mach Speed.

The public cried "Privacy be damned! Just KEEP US SAFE!"

So now, the NSA has server farms that make Google's entire infrastructure look like an old Commodore or TRS-80 by comparison.

The collect and record every email, every tweet, every IM, every phone call.

Automated search programs look for combinations of key phrases and flag them for review by human agents.

If they find something suspicious, it is only then that they apply for a legal search warrant to pursue further.

So yes, making violent "jokes" or blowing off steam online carries a certain risk.

Ya know, to keep us safe from the terrorists.

RCH said...

To clarify: Did crazy ex-gf alert them to the "threat" or did they pick up on it by spying on electronic communication? If it's the former -- no matter how crazy the reporting person is -- it seems reasonable that they followed up (however irritating / awful for your friend). Maybe even more reasonable, because crazy people likely have crazy associates, lol. If it's the latter ... SCARY.

In a world where people fly planes into buildings (not just 9/11, but homegrown wackos who want to avoid paying their taxes) (and wasn't that in Austin TX, where they don't even have a state income tax? Count your blessings, dude!) finding the balance between privacy and security does feel a little tricky. However I think most people would agree that spying on ordinary, law abiding citizens with no justification -- just fishing for anything they can find -- crosses that line. :-P

Rachel said...

When I started reading this post, I thought you were sharing your own brand of fiction. After finding out that you were telling a real-life story, my jaw dropped, too. I would never have thought...

Dr Kathy health forum said...

Thanks, I like your post

me said...

Jeez Louise!!! That's frickin' SCARY!!!

Anonymous said...


A NURSE said...

Yes- there is a need for RNs here in just might want to move here on the same type visa I used to work south of the border 18 yrs ago(NAFTA) :)