Friday, November 19, 2010

Tales of the Homeowner: The Roof

In all my infinite wisdom and high intelligence, I confess that I don't know shit about roofs. I know they comprise of shingles, and that they cover the top of your house. That's pretty much the extent of my roofing knowledge.

Mr. Recommendation and Mother had a contractor look at their roof a few weeks ago, the end result of the bad hale storm we had in September. I was milling around the front yard when the contractor asked if I wanted him to take a look at my roof. Sure, why not.

So, he carts his ladder over to my house and gets on the roof and comes down with a laundry list of everything that is wrong. Insurance company is called, a claim is filed, and I am to wait for a call from my adjuster. A few weeks later, Adjuster calls to let me know he's on his way...five minutes before he actually shows up. I call Contractor to remind him that Adjuster is on his way. Contractor is at another house, but will be there within minutes.

A gangly, geeky looking fellow who is my adjuster shows up with his own ladder. Scales my roof and does his own little survey. Meanwhile, I'm in my house hoping a stiff wind doesn't blow him off. (Say, if an insurance adjuster falls off your roof...who covers the claim?)

Adjuster takes pics with his digital camera and loads them onto a laptop for my personal viewing pleasure, which is cool because I get to see what hale damage looks like without climbing on top of my house. Adjuster tells me that the roof, while not damaged to the point that my house is going to cave in, could stand to be replaced. However, everything else is fine. So much for the laundry list Contractor found.

And where was Contractor at, anyway? Well, he never showed.

I did some research about the company Contractor worked for. No negative reviews, a positive rating by the Better Business Bureau, but there is still something that is gnawing at the back of my head that tells me that I should find someone else. I spoke with my insurance agent, who I've known for fifteen years, and discussed the who chain of events with him, and he even agrees with my unsettled feeling about Contractor. One thing I found a big red flag was when Contractor met with Mr. Recommendation's insurance adjuster. The adjuster disputed everything on the Contractor's list of things that needing replaced, and the Contractor denied that he was even the one who inspected the roof in the first place. "Wasn't me...must have been some other guy who had the same name as me and works for this company." Which was complete and utter bullshit.

I called Contractor today and left a message for him to call me back, but no reply thus far. I've gone from unsettled to being pretty annoyed to the point where I want to tell him to take his shingles and stick them up his ass. There's plenty of reputable places who would love to crawl all over my house in the cold weather.

Maybe I can wait until Spring and hope a tornado takes out the fence and that big, ugly tree in the backyard.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Can I Have My T.V. Back Now?

The election is over. Thank. God. I don't know about you, but I got pretty tired of all the ads. Candidate So-and-So Masturbates in Church! Oh yeah? Well, Candidate So-and-So Eats Babies! And if you elect them, they are coming to eat YOUR babies!!

I would have liked to gone to the Rally to Restore Sanity. I've never been to D.C., and I like Jon Stewart. I've liked him before anyone else did. But, the timing sucked, and I already had a metric crap-ton of money leaving Casa de Blather for various other payments on Caribbean vacations, new brakes for the car, hookers, and blow.

Fact being, I am neither Republican nor Democrat. I'm more in the middle, picking and choosing my platforms from both sides. I'm for a woman's right to chose, but I don't think abortion should be a primary form of birth control. I think we should be allowed to have guns (I grew up in a family of avid hunters), but I don't think that getting one should be as easy as walking into Walmart and buying one. I think gays should be allowed to marry, but I also feel that churches should still have their own authority to prohibit or allow it within their own faith if they want to. All faiths should be guaranteed the same rights and freedoms under the Constitution (even if I think they are retarded). I know illegal immigrants are not out to take my job (you try detasseling corn for a summer and see how you like it), but I don't think they should be given discounts on health care and tuition, because after all, they are here illegally.

The list goes on and on.

This election was interesting if only for the presence of the Tea Party. Somewhere, amongst the racism and ignorance, are members who are actually tolerant and believe in the stated purpose of the party itself (smaller government, less spending and all those wonderful little talking points that they are zealously crying out for, and yet are unable to elaborate on). Those people are not the ones who unleashed Christine O'Donnell and Sharon Angle upon the world. The amount of derp that fell out of their mouths each time they spoke was almost unreal. It's scary to think that such people, who are clearly at the low end of the intelligence scale, made it so far in politics. It also doesn't speak very highly of the people who put them there in the first place. And to think that Sarah Palin actually has a following. What kind of Kool-Aid is she serving, anyway??

My thought on American politics is that the government is too far gone for anyone to come in and make a positive difference. Our government is in the pocket of corporations, self-interests. No one really cares about sane Americans who only want to have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and want to send their kids to college. No, government is just a free-for-all of everyone getting theirs. Anyone who enters into the system with a benevolent agenda, immediately gets a cold dose of reality and then it's business as usual. We The People is only an illusion, passed on to normal people so that we remain quiet and productive citizens.

No, folks. We're on our own out here. Which is why I'm seriously looking at retiring in a foreign country.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Yeah, I know, I don't blog much. Talk about the world's biggest writer's block! I either have nothing to say, or something to say and I don't care whether I say it or not.

Lately, I have been focused on house stuff. An adjuster is supposed to come over at some point and inspect my roof, which apparently sustained some damage from that bad storm we had back in September. I don't know shit about roofs, other than they have shingles and they go on top of your house. Don't hate me for it. I wouldn't bust the balls of a roofer if he couldn't tell me the electrical conduction system of the human heart.

I also invested in a proper leaf blower. The one I had purchased last year was more geared for the old fart who had six leaves to blow off of his four foot sidewalk. I could rake my yard in a faster time it took me to blow a small leaf pile. So, I invested in a turbo-charged behemoth of a blower and the leaves were blown in two seconds. It kicked up a lot of dust in the backyard (which is all dirt and no grass), resulting in the entire neighborhood having to go wash their cars. The Angry Lesbians who live behind me were not horribly impressed. Since they bought and moved into the foreclosure home, they haven't been happy about much (hence the title Angry Lesbians). They even called the fire department when Mr. Recommendation was running his smoker because it hindered their ability to sit on their back deck and scowl at everyone.

And speaking of Angry Lesbian, my cousin (Militant Lesbian Cousin if you remember the saga I described here, here, and here.) made the mistake of calling Mother an Effing C-word. THAT word. The mother of all bad words. I admit I use the word on a rare occasion, but if you called me one, I'd probably laugh at you. However, you don't call my mother that. You don't call anyone in your family that. I don't think Rosie anticipated the backlash from the rest of the family members once they heard of the incident, but in addition to, ahem, other pie that she may be snacking on, she has also been served up some humble pie. I'm not falling for it, though. There's just some levels of drama that you are better off without.

Most days, I go between missing Oz and being mad at what a douche he was, and mad at myself for still having feelings for him. Blowing leaves around the yard gives one plenty of time to think of such things. It also gives impressive blisters on your hands and a dozen bags of leaves.

I've gone out on a date, maybe two (I can't really remember) to ease back into that saddle. It was fun, but I have a knack for honing in on the guys who aren't looking for anything serious, or monogamous. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I know what I am wired for, and it helps me maintain a good emotional distance. What can I say? I have aloof down to an artform.