Monday, June 28, 2010

Virus at Casa de Blather

I have decided that there is a special place in hell reserved for those who create computer viruses. If I were to meet a guy, and he told me that he created such programs for a living, I would kick him square in the nuts. The subsequent night in jail would be worth it.

I was going to make some delicious homemade ice cream using my KitchenAid ice cream maker attachment. I froze the bowl, got the ingredients, and set to putting it all together when I realized that I was missing a small, yet very important, piece to the attachment. After looking in drawers and boxes, I could not find the piece, and no ice cream would be made.

What does ice cream have to do with computer viruses? Well, I'm glad you asked!

I went online to see if I could locate a replacement part, and all of a sudden, the computer went apeshit. Pop-up windows everywhere, and something that looked like it may have come from Microsoft stating that my computer was infected more than Paris Hilton's cooter, and by clicking said link and buying their antivirus program, would rid my computer of the offending parasite. A huge red flag was the fact that it said it's corporate offices were based in London.

It compromised every single program. I freaked. It even blocked me trying to run scans, update my security...everything. I cursed the owners of the virus and wished them slow, agonizing, and gruesome deaths.

Thankfully, Mother's computer was working so I was able to google said "helpful program" and found out what I suspected. It was a huge virus called AV Security Suite. Message boards were filled with people who had been in the same boat as me. I followed the instructions of how to take back my computer, and am now happily blogging on a computer that's as clean as a whistle.

So, I still don't have a replacement part for my ice cream maker. I'm a little wary of trying to look online again for another one. Who knows what may happen next? My computer could be infected by a virus that only uploads midget porn.

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