Saturday, October 27, 2012

I'm Italy!

Auntie Jo was recently in the hospital for sepsis. She almost died. In fact, when I walked into her room after she was brought into the ER, I thought, "Shit, this is it." She looked that bad, like death-eating-an-onion-sandwich bad. I called in the family, invoked my DPOA status, and remained vigilant. Mom was distraught because her sister may be dying. Mr. Recommendation is being supportive of Mom. I'm volleying between Nurse Mode and Concerned Family Member Mode. Between hardass and grief. Log is there, thankfully. He is my safety net for when the lines start to blur.

Militant Lesbian Cousin Rosie appears and attempts to do what she does best...bully everyone else. Log put himself between her and whomever she was trying to steamroll over at the time (in this case, it was my mother), and went nose to her nose with her in a battle of Wit vs. Halfwit. Log kept his cool, with logic and reasoning. Rosie, pissed that she was unable to get the reaction she wanted (which was more drama), stormed off in a huff, because if she didn't, "Things are going to get ugly." To which I announced that there would be no ugliness, as I would have everyone ugly tossed out of the hospital.

At some point, she had decided I was neutral in all the family drama (I do try to remain impartial to squabbles), and even said as much as she announced that I "was Italy". I think she meant Switzerland, but you can't correct her. She has an Associates Degree in Liberal Arts and is almost a lawyer. Much in the same manner that I am almost a Victoria's Secret Model. We assume she switched majors once she found out that she can't be a nurse if she has a felony on her record.

After plying her with a shit-ton of antibiotics, Auntie Jo turns a corner and recovers. We know that she is back to normal when she starts bossing the nursing staff around. She even goes so far as to start trolling Mom. A couple occasions witnessed by an uncle who had no idea that Auntie Jo could be so, what's the word, hateful.

Mom and her sister have a very interesting, love-hate relationship. You ever have a family member you love, but sometimes don't like? Yeah, it's like that. I love my aunt, but even I will admit that she is difficult to take for long periods of time. At any rate, I don't try to analyze their sisterly bonds too much, and I stay out of it as much as I can. Which could be why I am Italy.

A few days later, Mr. Recommendation is admitted into a different hospital, for the same thing, but not nearly as severe. Only he manages to hornswoggle (yes, I used that word) the doctors into letting him go before he was ready. All weekend, he spends at home looking like a pile of crap in a bathrobe. Shockingly, he goes back to the hospital on Monday and is re-admitted to the consternation of the ER doc who said he should have not been allowed to leave early in the first place. Lesson learned. Mr. Recommendation stays in the hospital for as long as the doctor says he has to. He looks much better now, and is actually back to eating.

Through all this, Log is still here, He's my rock. And I love him for it.

He must really like Italy.

1 comment:

bobbie said...

I'm glad Aunt & Mr R. are recovering ~

And it is wonderful to see you back!!