The Nightmare that is the NCLEX...

I took boards today...and is was hell. I felt nauseated on the drive to the testing center. Apprehension when I signed in...fingerprints, pictures, signatures. They are pretty serious when it comes to testing. I had to remove my watch, and had to spit my gum out. No comforts whatsoever.

I felt like I didn't know anything. That my brains had fallen out of my ears, landing on the floor by my feet...waiting for my to collect them when I was done with the test. Two years of nursing classes had culminated to this one test...and damned if I couldn't remember any of it.

Most everyone I have talked to took only 75 questions before the computer would shut off. I had 150 questions. Right when I had resigned to taking the full 265 questions, the computer shut off. I gasped, and I am sure other people heard me.

I've been through a lot of hard things, this test being among the hardest. I won't be able to find out if I passed until Friday afternoon...and even then I don't know if I will, or just wait until that dreaded letter comes in the mail. Out of site, out of mind.

I've been in shock all day, but I am glad it is over. Now I can worry about what I am going to do if I failed...which chances are pretty good that I did.

A nurse, is a nurse, is a nurse...

My nursing boards are coming up this Wednesday...and I am not ready. I said I would do thousands of practice questions before the test...but I may have done around 500 or so. I guess at this stage in the game...either you know it by now, or you don't. So, we will see this week if I know it or not. I'm still nervous about it. So far, almost everyone in my class who has taken boards has passed...save for a couple people we know who failed.

My job is going well. I am finally coming to a point where I feel confident and know what I am doing. My preceptor has sort of left me to my own devices, sort of a sink or swim approach. So far, I am doing fine. I like everyone I work with. I like my floor, even though I hate how they get dumped on sometimes. In a couple years, I would like to take a couple months off from work and go do a travel assignment...maybe in Hawaii or Florida. I hear California pays extremely well. My ultimate job would be cruise nursing.

I comfortable with my degree in Nursing. Some people do not have the good fortune of having their parents pay for college. So, there are a couple new grads with BSN's who look down on my lowly two-year degree. I just want to punch them in the nose. Guess what...we work at the same hospital, do the same job, and make the same salary. I've also come to know some 4-year nurses who can't find their ass with two hands. Scary!