Wednesday, August 11, 2004

The Nightmare that is the NCLEX...

I took boards today...and is was hell. I felt nauseated on the drive to the testing center. Apprehension when I signed in...fingerprints, pictures, signatures. They are pretty serious when it comes to testing. I had to remove my watch, and had to spit my gum out. No comforts whatsoever.

I felt like I didn't know anything. That my brains had fallen out of my ears, landing on the floor by my feet...waiting for my to collect them when I was done with the test. Two years of nursing classes had culminated to this one test...and damned if I couldn't remember any of it.

Most everyone I have talked to took only 75 questions before the computer would shut off. I had 150 questions. Right when I had resigned to taking the full 265 questions, the computer shut off. I gasped, and I am sure other people heard me.

I've been through a lot of hard things, this test being among the hardest. I won't be able to find out if I passed until Friday afternoon...and even then I don't know if I will, or just wait until that dreaded letter comes in the mail. Out of site, out of mind.

I've been in shock all day, but I am glad it is over. Now I can worry about what I am going to do if I failed...which chances are pretty good that I did.

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