Thursday, June 11, 2009

The New Face of Shysters

Brother & Co have resumed their search for a home. They moved into a house this spring, with the intent to buy. The house was cheap, needed some work done, but otherwise appeared to be a good deal. The old bat who owned the home, was asking one price, and Brother was fine with it. Until the house was appraised for 30K less than the asking price. Brother & Co. told the owner that they would not pay what she was asking, as no bank would finance a house for 30K more than it was worth, and they resubmitted an offer that was more in accordance with the house's value.

The old bat blanched, stated she was not going to come down on the price. However, she was magnanimous enough to offer to finance whatever the bank would not on a ten year note.

Brother & Co politely declined and said they would find a different house, to which the old coont said she would just sell the house to someone who couldn't get financing through a bank, so she could get what she wanted for the house.

It's always heartwarming to know that there are people out there who will fuck over the less fortunate the first chance they get. I can only hope that people like this die a slow painful death at the hands of the most incompetent medical staff on the planet.

Anyway, Brother & Co. resume their search, and look at a couple foreclosures. In doing so, they have become well versed in the shark-infested waters that is known as Foreclosure Real Estate.

There are reputable Realtors out there. Like the one I used. Then, there are those Realtors who only deal in foreclosures. Reputable agents refer to these people as "bone collectors" or as I like to refer to them as "the ambulance chasers of the real estate market". They collect foreclosures like Paris Hilton collects STDs, then they play buyers, in hopes of squeezing every last dime out of them. Brother & Co. have had one bad experience with a foreclosure, and one with a short-listing, which is five seconds from becoming a foreclosure. These agents are nice, until they know you have a brain and can do you own homework. In fact, any of the offers they get, I'm fairly confident they don't submit to the bank until they get the offer that will garner them the most money. Brother's agent contacted one bank after not hearing anything from the other agent for an extended period of time, only to have that agent finally call and angrily berate them for "going over my head."

Some people, like the nasty old coont that owns the house Brother currently lives in, is still under the impression that they can get old market prices for their homes. The housing market is an entirely different animal. In fact, my house was just assessed at 30K less than it was 3 years ago...for a grand savings of $89 on my taxes. Bastards.

So, while Brother & Co. continue their search for their dream home, pre-certified letter for financing in hand, they are learning that this isn't a buyers market like they were told, but are at the hands of unscrupulous agents who are only out for themselves.

Meanwhile, they have to be out of their house by the end of June. At that point, they will be guests at Casa de Blather for a short spell until they do find a house that they won't get hung out to dry on. Three adults (one pregnant), 1 toddler, 1 cat and 4 dogs. I don't mind them staying. It beats having them being bled dry by the Wicked Witch of Raytown i.e. their current landlady.

Good thing I have a well-stocked liquor cabinet.


"The D" said...

There are a couple houses on my street if you want the Info I coils send it to yas. Prices are roughly around 100 g's.

Kate said...

My fiance and I tried to get pre-approved for a mortgage not too long ago since we're in a so-called "buyers market"...turns out, it's only a buyers market if you've owned a house before or have roughly three times the amount that you want to spend on a house locked up in savings. Two peope in their mid-twenties who make a good living and have minimal to no debt and excellent credit scores? Not going to happen. Looks like we'll be renting for another year.

PlazaJen said...

well, at least with all the dogs, you've got some built-in cleanup for the toddler!

PlazaJen said...

and hey, it only took three comments for me to use my correct email. Welcome to f'n Monday.

SmedRock said...

Your problem is the house is on Raytown. One of the worse markets in the KC area, good luck.