Thursday, December 10, 2009

GB Goes to Hell...Again

At this time, there are five words that strike fear into my heart and makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"Let's go to the mall!"

So, Mom wanted to go and look for Christmas gifts. And we did, in the sub-arctic temps. Shockingly, I found a parking spot relatively close to the building so we wouldn't risk dying from hypothermia.

I don't particularly relish going to any shopping mecca around this time of year, but if I do, I try to make the best of it. I demanded a visit to the pet store. What can I say? I like animals more than people on most days, and a trip to the pet store always makes me happy. It used to be, before I set foot in a pet store, it had to be established that I would not leave there with anything that had a heartbeat. The one time this rule wasn't put in play, I came home with Sam.I was a little disturbed to see that a surgery center specializing in weight-loss procedures was right across from the pet store. A surgical center. At a mall. Who in the hell thought that would be a good idea???

"Okay, kids. Billy, you go to Hot Topic and get your goth wear. Rachel, you go to Victoria's Secret for underwear. I have to stop off at Bath and Body Works before I go have surgery on my stomach. Afterwards, we'll meet in the food court."


Anyway, we go into the pet store, and the puppies are actually awake and playful. Mom and I coo and squeal at the little furballs. They are so damn cute, especially the big, fluffy Newfoundland pup they had. One lady was standing in front of the kennel with the golden retriever, her nose pressed against the glass, bawling her eyes out.

"I used to have one of these!" she cried. Mom and I started feeling sorry for her. It's always hard when you have a pet that passes away.

"...when I was seven years old!" she finishes. Mom and I stop feeling sorry for her. Now, she's turned into Creepy Lady, crying in a pet store about a dog you had thirty years ago.

But you never know, she may have been having some odd reaction to the anesthesia from her weight loss surgery she just had fifteen minutes ago.


Faith said...

Aw! I feel for her! As soon as you said "Newfoundland puppy" I was cooing at my screen as though I was there with ya at the store. They're a special breed, those Newfs. Mine's been gone since I was 17, I think? And I still miss her like it was yesterday!

Pet stores are teh awesome.

Anonymous said...


Bill the Painter said...

I agree with the Asian poster 100% I couldn't have said it better myself!

Candice said...

Yeah, what he said.

Donna said...

I am LITERALLY laughing out loud, not only at your post, but at the comments. Gotta love that Asian porn.

Logtar said...

Thanks for clicking Donna, not that I was going to.

So now you get your nails and tummy done all at the same time. Fabulous!

Marti said...

Oh Sam is a doll! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!

Anonymous said...