This June, I will have been a nurse for seven years. SEVEN!! The time has raced by faster than a man to the bathroom after having a one-liter enema. In that SEVEN years, I have been hit, kicked, pinched, spit on, shit on, pissed on, vomited on, cursed at, threatened, injured, insulted, emotionally drained, and exhausted physically.
So, how does ACME Hospital honor me, honor us, on this most sacred and holy of holidays for nurses?
With coupons for a piece of whole fruit. We were puzzled it specified whole fruit. As opposed to what? A half-eaten banana? Last year, we got coupons for a service that turns out they didn't pay any money for, but was a promotional card for some spa business that they handed out to anyone who wanted one. For free.
I don't think I want to guess what the higher-ups get for their bonuses. It will probably throw me in a deep depression that ends with a full psychotic break and I run around the hospital lobby. Naked and covered in powdered sugar singing about being a donut in my former life. Trust me...it wouldn't be pretty.
I'm just going to assume they got two pieces of whole fruit instead.