When You Know, You Know

As many of you have heard and read, I have a boyfriend. There's some drama surrounding it, but nothing more than what we allow. You see, he is separated, and in the process of getting a divorce. A marriage that was apparently doomed from the start, and pretty much in the shitter for the last two years of it. All of it a surprise to me (and everyone else who hears the tale for that matter) when the truth was revealed.

The estranged wife occasionally stirs up drama, and my initial knee-jerk reaction is to be the white knight and defend his honor and reputation. However, he is much calmer about things and does not play into it. I try to take his lead, but it is exceedingly difficult. My desire to open up a can of whoopass extends to any loved one who is hurt.

So, I am not here to hash over what happened. I will leave that story for boyfriend to share, if he chooses to do so. The people closest to him know the truth, and they are very supportive. I've shared what I know to people who are closest to me, and they are also firmly planted on "Team Logtar".

Instead, I just want to talk a little on what I am feeling now. Okay, maybe a lot about what I am feeling.

I love the guy. I can't help it. I met him at a blogger meet up years ago, and knew there was something special about him even then. When I saw him waiting for me at the airport years later, I knew that this something special was meant for me. And when he touched my hand for the first time, the earth slipped off it's axis by a couple degrees.

So far, it has been an amazing ride.

I used to scoff at people who met, dated, and married within the span of a couple months. How could you know someone that well that you would be willing to commit the rest of your lives to that one person? Well, now I know.

He's such a great man. He says these wonderful things, and I have to remind myself that he's saying them about me, to me. He's everything I've ever wanted, or ever needed in a counterpart. And he really gets me. Really. He knows all my dark secrets. Aware of all the skeletons in my closet. Knows where the bodies are buried. And he has returned the favor in kind. He can read my expressions accurately. He can tell when I am annoyed without me being obvious about it. He loves me. Warts and all. And he is genuinely interested in learning everything about me. My likes, dislikes, my church, my dogs, my job, my pet peeves, my opinions. We've only been together for a short while, but it feels like I have known him forever.

We have had so many discussions on our future. That we are already planning it should be alarming, but it feels like it's the most natural thing in the world. I'm not scared. I don't have any doubts. I'm thinking about things that I never thought were a possibility for me...marriage and a family. It's sometimes surreal when I think about it from an outsider's standpoint. We are both rational adults, and rational adults don't sound like lovesick teenagers.

Point being, I can feel this changing me. People notice a difference already. My family especially. Everyone is excited.

He'll be relocating here by the end of the summer. We're both very excited to start the next chapter of our lives together. We both feel like we have found that huge piece that has been missing from our lives. It feels safe. It feels comfortable. It feels right.

I finally feel like I am coming home.

Random Thoughts for the Weekend

- I have a boyfriend.
- I have to say that to myself just because I still don't believe it.
- This is the real deal.
- I'm just not ready to talk about it yet.
- When I am, you will be the first to know.
- But I will say that I am happy.
- And terrified at the same time.
- I really need to stop being so afraid.
- Being out of my comfort zone always makes me afraid.
- Mom and Mr. Recommendation have met him.
- They wholeheartedly approve.
- Even if the circumstances are a bit unorthodox.
- My aunt has essentially given up on being productive.
- She has decided to be bed-ridden and not do anything for herself.
- There is no medical reason for it.
- She has just stopped trying.
- Mom is beside herself.
- The whole situation is frustrating.
- The Militant Lesbian Daughter, Rosie isn't making things any easier.
- I was introduced to a really good sushi place recently.
- I LOVE sushi.
- I love all things Japan.
- I'd love to go there someday.
- When it stops glowing in the dark.
- I have no other thoughts.

Vacation Tales: Florida, You Mostly Suck

I once read an article about Florida, and journalist had been quoted saying, "Florida does stupid like Nebraska does corn." Apparently, another thing they do in mass quantities is rudeness.

One thing I noticed about the Sunshine State, is that they generally are not friendly folks. I was flipped off more times on the interstate, that you would have thought I had shanked Mickey Mouse. Had enough, I finally boxed in a beady-eyed soccer Mom in a Mercedes SUV behind a foul-exhaust-producing truck. I was in a land tank (Chrysler Town and Country). I had no fear.

We ate at a Boston Market, yet the clerk rolled her eyes at me when I let her know their ice machine was out. Despite the warm customer service, the line of people wanting food still went out the door.

While waiting to be seated at another restaurant, a couple locals scoffed at the wait (it was a Saturday night), blaming "tourists" as to the reason they were not being seated immediately. The word "tourists" said with a tone of disgust that suggested that Florida tourists were actually the militant branch of Al Qeieda. Sorry, assholes. What the hell do you expect in a state who's main industry is tourism? If you don't like it, move to fucking Duluth, Minnesota.

At another restaurant, the waitress was so surly, we were afraid to ask her for anything. However, we did get to see the most resplendent mullet ever. Sadly, I did not get a picture.

Mom is pretty friendly. She says hi to strangers and will engage anyone in conversation. Sometimes, she happened upon a nice person. Most of the times, those nice people were transplants from another state. It's pretty bad when the nicest person you encountered in Florida was from New York. Other times, people looked at her as if she was crazy for talking to a stranger, then slowly inched away in that uncomfortable silence that some people do when they encounter a mentally-challenged person they don't know, who randomly approaches them and starts chattering away.

Even the lady on the GPS had an attitude.

Florida is a great state to vacation in as you can always find something to do, even if it is just sitting on the beach and doing nothing. It's the people. Florida is like the Walmart of the United States. It's great to people-watch for a while, but eventually, you grow to loathe humanity.

We will be visiting Florida again next year for our vacation. Maybe Tampa will be nicer, but then again, maybe monkeys will fly out of my ass.