When You Know, You Know

As many of you have heard and read, I have a boyfriend. There's some drama surrounding it, but nothing more than what we allow. You see, he is separated, and in the process of getting a divorce. A marriage that was apparently doomed from the start, and pretty much in the shitter for the last two years of it. All of it a surprise to me (and everyone else who hears the tale for that matter) when the truth was revealed.

The estranged wife occasionally stirs up drama, and my initial knee-jerk reaction is to be the white knight and defend his honor and reputation. However, he is much calmer about things and does not play into it. I try to take his lead, but it is exceedingly difficult. My desire to open up a can of whoopass extends to any loved one who is hurt.

So, I am not here to hash over what happened. I will leave that story for boyfriend to share, if he chooses to do so. The people closest to him know the truth, and they are very supportive. I've shared what I know to people who are closest to me, and they are also firmly planted on "Team Logtar".

Instead, I just want to talk a little on what I am feeling now. Okay, maybe a lot about what I am feeling.

I love the guy. I can't help it. I met him at a blogger meet up years ago, and knew there was something special about him even then. When I saw him waiting for me at the airport years later, I knew that this something special was meant for me. And when he touched my hand for the first time, the earth slipped off it's axis by a couple degrees.

So far, it has been an amazing ride.

I used to scoff at people who met, dated, and married within the span of a couple months. How could you know someone that well that you would be willing to commit the rest of your lives to that one person? Well, now I know.

He's such a great man. He says these wonderful things, and I have to remind myself that he's saying them about me, to me. He's everything I've ever wanted, or ever needed in a counterpart. And he really gets me. Really. He knows all my dark secrets. Aware of all the skeletons in my closet. Knows where the bodies are buried. And he has returned the favor in kind. He can read my expressions accurately. He can tell when I am annoyed without me being obvious about it. He loves me. Warts and all. And he is genuinely interested in learning everything about me. My likes, dislikes, my church, my dogs, my job, my pet peeves, my opinions. We've only been together for a short while, but it feels like I have known him forever.

We have had so many discussions on our future. That we are already planning it should be alarming, but it feels like it's the most natural thing in the world. I'm not scared. I don't have any doubts. I'm thinking about things that I never thought were a possibility for me...marriage and a family. It's sometimes surreal when I think about it from an outsider's standpoint. We are both rational adults, and rational adults don't sound like lovesick teenagers.

Point being, I can feel this changing me. People notice a difference already. My family especially. Everyone is excited.

He'll be relocating here by the end of the summer. We're both very excited to start the next chapter of our lives together. We both feel like we have found that huge piece that has been missing from our lives. It feels safe. It feels comfortable. It feels right.

I finally feel like I am coming home.