Wednesday, May 06, 2009

GB Goes to a Wedding

I recently went to a wedding for a friend I work with. They had been dating forever, and decided to pull the trigger and make things legit. Instead of doing the big, blown-up event, they decided to do things their way. They held it in an old movie theater.

It was an evening wedding, and I'm a firm believer in dressing for the occasion. I had planned on wearing one of the dresses I bought for cruising, until I talked to Indy. He was also going to the wedding.

"You'll be overdressed," he said. "I've met her family."

But it was an evening wedding, and unless it was going to be held at a Waffle House (be sure to check out the slide show), I would dress up. At one point, I had asked the bride-to-be about the dress, and she confirmed it was evening dress, and that everybody would be all decked out.

However, Indy's words dinged around in my head and I opted for a pair of flowy dress pants and a dressy halter top. While not to-the-nines, I still could hold my own at an evening party elsewhere. It was still dressy.

So, we get there, parking is a bitch, but we find a place in front of some dry cleaning business. Indy dressed in khakis and a button down shirt. Snappy dresser, he is.

We go inside, and I spot women in sundresses and skirts. Dress pants and blouses. We go inside the main area, and Indy spots a table with some other coworkers, and drags me over to sit. I note that half the room is wearing blue jeans. I start to feel a little awkward.

Then a lady sits down at the next table sporting blue jeans, and a Kanas Jayhawk shirt. I won't discuss the, ahem, fluffy couple wearing sweats.

I almost completely lost my shit.

Like I said, I dress for the occasion, but if there is one thing that I hate, it's being overdressed.

The wedding commences, and the bride is looking all blushing and bride-like. The groom shackles on the ol' ball-n-chain. After the final kiss, the newlyweds walk together to the back of the theater to the bar, where the Bud Light sign illuminates.

Right next to the Slurpee machine.

Indy and I hang out long enough for the first dance and all that crap. Indy participated in the garter toss, but ran away when it wafted in his general direction. I didn't participate in the bouquet toss because I have a strict No-Bouquet-Toss Policy. I have no desire to announce my pathetic old maidness by hopping around with a bunch of other single women looking like baby robins vying for Mom's regurgitated worm.

Besides, it's always the 12 year old girl that catches the damn thing anyway.

A week or so after the wedding, I asked the bride about the dress code of the wedding, which was seemingly observed by those directly involved in the wedding. And, oh yes, that mortified blond lady cowering at one of the tables.

She laughed, citing that was just her family and they don't dress up for hardly anything. Indy was right. I should listen to him more...but don't plan on doing so in the foreseeable future.

And the lady in the Jayhawk t-shirt??

It was her mother.

6 comments:

bobbie said...

Happy Nurses Day!!

IDigSmartLadies said...

Besides, it's always the 12 year old girl that catches the damn thing anyway.As the garter-catcher when it was a ten year old who caught the bouquet, I can assure you it's not. You're supposed to slide it up as far as possible. It's hard to do that when you feel like you have Pedobear hanging out, looking over your shoulder!

Beckle the Freckle said...

One of my immediate family members showed up at a funeral viewing in sweats. I pretend not to know them on occasion...*shudder*

However, a slurpee machine at a wedding?! MAGIC!!

Kate said...

Was this wedding, by any chance, at the Mission Theater..?

Faith said...

You can never - NEVER - be too dressed up. I would not have been embarrassed to have shown up at that occassion wearing a ball skirt, dammit. Fuck those 'tards.

Her mother's actions are inexcusable, IMO. It's just not that hard to find a nice dress, or even a skirt and acute top! FFS!

Candice said...

Sounds like a redneck weddin' to me!

I hope the slurpee machine was spiked!