Friday, May 22, 2009

Pulling One Off In May!!

Did you know that May is National Masturbation Month? I'm sure I did in my subconscious somewhere, but somehow forgot. I know, I'm a terrible person.

But we do have a week left, so not all is completely lost.

I know what you are thinking: masturbation is bad. It will cause hair to grow in your palms. It will cause you to go blind. It will keep you in your mother's basement and reduce you to maintaining a blog featuring scantily clad women.

All myths! Okay, maybe except that last one.

All the taboos aside, masturbation is not bad for you, and will not land you in hell. It has many benefits:

For men:
— Strengthens the immune system
— Building his resistance to prostate gland infection
— Makes for a healthier prostate
— It cleans the plumbing.

For women:
— Building her resistance to yeast infections.
— Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.
— Relieving painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region. This will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
— Relieving chronic back pain and increasing her threshold for pain.

For Both:
— The safest kind of sex, keeping you free of sexually transmitted infections.
— A great form of stress relief.
— A mood booster in releasing endorphins.
— A natural sleep sedative.
— A mechanism for building stronger pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to better sex.
— A natural energetic pick-me-up.
— Decreases blood pressure.
— It increases self-knowledge. If you don't know how to get yourself off, how can you expect your partner to always know how to do it?

Because it is a National Month, it is your patriotic duty to do yourself a big favor.

Hop to it!! Your nurse and Passion Parties Consultant says so!!!


bobbie said...

LOL!!! I never knew it had it's own month! Mom was always a strong advocate of "playing solitaire"... every time I see that game on a computer I giggle!

Xavier Onassis said...

I'm on it!

"Demented" Dave Randal said...

I am very proud to say that every month is masturbation month for me. ;)

SmedRock said...

I think I may need a wet nap.

Marti said...

You are a font of information and enlightenment! *grin* Seriously, good idea!

Sorry for not being around much, have been swamped with health issues here - hugs to you!