Saturday, July 16, 2005

Another CFR draws to a close...

CFR, or Charpie Family Reunion to you, has gone off with a smashing success. No bad accidents, no hostile family squabbles. I do believe that my family caused the stock of Anheuser-Busch to soar for the week as it seemed that is all anyone would drink.

About 80% of the family stayed in campers out at a campsite, which was the primary meeting place every night. Everyone else who didn't have to "rough it", stayed in their cabin or lakehouse. My cousin, Dave, and his wife arrived in a very shiny, new-fangled motorhome which cost roughly $150K. This thing was so posh and swank, I'm convinced it even wiped your butt for you. Boy, camping sure sucks.

An activity was planned for everyday, even if that activity involved playing in the lake. Skiing, tubing, riding the wave runner, playing on the inflated island, or just laying in some personal raft, drinking whatever your drink of the day happened to be, basking in the sun, and trying to ignore that pesky little fish who nibbled on anyone who happened to be in the water. Some family members got a lovely fish-hickey to remember the reunion by, me included.

We frequented "The Triangle"...which basically is the Walmart of Hickory County. "You can find anything at The Triangle" is the most uttered phrase at Pomme de Terre lake. The Triangle is a gas station...on steroids. They carry everything from ice to potpourri. Potato wedges to Red Hat Club essentials. It's can find anything at The Triangle. I suspect that the owner will start offering an Ozark dating service sometime next year...

I talked with a second cousin about college courses as she has just started college. Cletus (who is married to a distant cousin-in-law) chimes in about how he was great at high school...before he dropped out. No one likes Cletus (his real name is Kelly), but it is safe to say that he is always the dumbest person there, which usually provides some sort of entertainment for everyone else. He thinks he looks like Brad Pitt. He looks more like Britney Spears' husband...on meth.

We had a luau, and my stepdad looked mighty fine in his grass skirt and coconut bra. Everyone wore leis. I got lei-d at my family reunion by an uncle. The most excitement I've had in a while.

We went on a canoe trip one day, and I discovered that my dog Sam is a really crappy swimmer, and not very bright. He jumped out of the canoe, into swift water, and tried to swim upstream. I had to rescue him before he went under. I also discovered that he is allergic to fleas. I paid a vet over $100 so she could shave bald spots all over his body, give him a shot, and send me home with a bottle of pills that I have to spend 30 minutes twice daily trying to cram the damn things down his throat for the next 10 days. As of now, I have a really pathetic looking dog. Between him, and my clogged-peehole cat, and my fish whose fins fell off...I'm starting to think that my lot in life is to care for handicapped animals.

Overall, the reunion was loads of fun, and the added bonus was that I didn't have to work for an entire week. Hee!! I returned to work, much more relaxed and in a rare good mood.

I shoud take a week off from work every month.

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