Sunday, October 30, 2005

Into the (Shallow) Dating Pool

I'm off tonight after working my three in a row. Thankfully, no one crashed. Unfortunately, it was so quiet and boring, it was like watching paint dry. When the night is quiet and boring, time draws out like a blade...especially last night. Considering we were there for only an hour longer, it felt like a 16 hour shift.

Friday night, one of our more colorful aides came in toting a red folder. One of the nurses inquired, and so this aide produced all this paperwork for
Great Expectations. Now, I've heard of this business...I get their crap flooding my mailbox ALL. THE. TIME. It immediately floods my garbage can, unopened. How do they know I am single? I wish I could take my name off their mailing list.

At any rate, this aide announced that she had paid for a membership to GE, which left the rest of the staff looking at each other thinking, "She has officially lost her mind." Now, I dated a guy once who used/bought/joined GE. He said he wasn't impressed with their services, and alluded to the fact that he paid out the nose for a membership. I kept asking how much, and he never would tell me for fear that I would laugh at him. So, I figured it was some insane amount. Little did I know...

Well, this aide had her credit card receipts in the folder, and she allowed us to look at them. I slid the first one out and blinked. $898! Then I slid the next one out of the pocket and just about crapped my scrubs...$2000!!! This girl just paid close to $3K for a dating service. A DATING SERVICE!!! I could take one cruise a year for 3 years on what she paid for a 3 year membership. We were all appalled. She immediately went on the defensive.

"I spend $4K on myself every year", she sniffed. We still shook our heads in disbelief. This girl is not exactly ugly, she's cute in a WT kind of way. She's been obsessed with finding a boyfriend. Her problem is that she has a crappy attitude, and she sleeps around...a lot. This is also the same girl who boned the ugliest and biggest asshole surgical resident to ever grace the halls of our hospital...but that is neither here nor there. This is the same girl who was soliciting our advice as to whether she should go back to an ex-boyfriend, and then ignored us when we told her it wasn't a good idea.

I've heard a lot of very bad things about GE. They have even been investigated and sued in the past. Dozens of
websites dedicated to warning people about joining this service. I personally (as well as everyone with a brain on my floor), feel strongly that this girl has been duped...but she is the type who will not listen to reason. Oh well...some people must always learn the hard way.

Thing is, she is only 23 years old. We pointed out that she was so young and had lots of time ahead of her, to which she snipped, "Well, I don't want to be single and alone forever."

Bitch. I may be single, but I'm not the butt of everyone's jokes. Annoyed, I pointed my finder in her face and peered over the rims of my glasses, "What makes you so certain that I'm not dating anyone? I just don't offer up my personal life up for lunctime gossip."

Okay, so I'm not really dating anyone...but she doesn't know any different.

So, we will see how this pans out, and I would be lying if I said we were not watching with sadistic glee and expectations. As one of the other older aide's pointed out, "The guys are not going to be getting such a great catch with her...unless they are looking for a piece of ass, and even then it probably won't be so great."

On a side note, if I was dumb enough to shell out that kind of money because I was that desperate to find a date, I sure as hell wouldn't tell my coworkers about it.

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