Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Drink Tea and Pee! (Out Your Ass)

(Disclaimer: This post is all kinds of full of TMI. However, at General Blather, we are all about normal body functions, and some not-so-normal. Consider yourself warned.)

Indy and I made our annual pilgrimage to the KC Home Show a few weeks back. I am happy to report that I didn't make any big water feature purchases this year. I did get another rubber broom, and few other little handy gadgets that my life as a homeowner is obviously incomplete without having, and of course, the complimentary yard stick that gets handed out to everyone. I think I have three or four of them. I may have used one once to hang a couple pictures on the wall. Usually, I just use them to smack Indy around with.

Don't worry...he likes it.

This year, there was a lady who had a booth featuring all kinds of loose leaf tea. I love tea. Probably more than coffee. I'm trying to drink more tea because of all the added health benefits, not to mention because my Starbucks habit was getting a bit ridiculous. At any rate, Indy wandered off to talk to someone about patio furniture, and I perused the tea offerings. She had a couple samples to actually try. All the teas she sold, she had in little glass jars so people could smell them. The actual purchases were in sealed, foil bags. So, no one was in danger of going home with a dried booger in their tea.

Because she was running a special, I bought four bags of different kinds of tea. Three of them green (with strawberry, raspberry and cherry), one rooibos (a cinnamon vanilla mix). I decided to take a packet, and my little steeping ball, to work and drink tea instead of the four-am coffee or soda.

Oh. My. God. Never before had something so delicious passed my lips. That Saturday, I drank three 12 ounce cups of hot tea. Sunday night, I had the same. I even shared with coworkers, who also agreed that my new discovery was the complete, and absolute, shit.

And speaking of...

Green tea is a funny thing, and something I failed to remember, a natural laxative. I wasn't drinking it to lose weight or be regular...I drank it because I loved the stuff!! So, imagine my surprise at waking up Monday afternoon with an emergent need to run to the bathroom. Where I frequented the better part of Monday evening, and all day Tuesday.

By the time Tuesday night rolled around, I was practically in tears because my little brown one-eye felt like it was on fire. I refused to eat anything because I knew at some point, I would have to digest it. The terror-alert at Casa de Blather had gone to red...as did my toot-hole (I assume).

I stopped the mass consumption of the tea, and only drink it sparingly. A cup here, a cup there. So far, everything has been smooth sailing with no relapses. I still will order more tea, because the strawberry kicks ass. So does the raspberry. The cherry...not so much.

So, let this be a warning to you. Green tea is not to be trifled with. There's a reason that Asian cultures drink it in little cups.

~Shudder~

5 comments:

Donna said...

Strange, green tea has never had that effect on me.

Candice said...

Sorry about your red eye. Want me to rub some Prep-H on it?

Good.

I didn't want to anyway. ;)

me said...

Thanks for the warning!!!

Bill the Painter said...

Wow! You learn something new everyday! Thankfully, I'm not much of a tea drinker.

You should have stopped by my booth...maybe you did and I didn't know it.

Hope you and your little friend feel better! ;)

Spyder said...

LMAO! I feel for you! On Feb 23rd I had my colonoscopy. So Feb 22nd I was so there. Too bad you couldn't schedule a quick one when you were done. ( 1 polyp removed, and Dr orders to eat more fiber & a fiber supplement, which is giving me gas) Fun!