Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hump Day Blather

So, my ears finally cleared...after a healthy dose of antibiotics and prednisone. I still hear crackles sometimes when I blow my nose, but I suspect that will also go away in time. Do I still want to dive after this experience? Yes, but I will be loading up on meds before my dive.

Tonight, I went to the lovely Ms. Janet's house for a chocolate tasting party. It was so good, I booked one. I figure I can make a bunch of sangria, and if the chocolate presentation ends early enough, I can bust out a small demo of my goods.

Chocolate. Sangria. Toys. It's the Ladies Essentials Trifecta! Let me know if you want to go, I'll send you an invite.

Haven't heard much out of The Boy lately. He goes through what I have dubbed "Dark Moods", so I just let him have his space. He knows I care and am concerned, and am here if he needs an ear and a shoulder. He may not feel the same way I feel, but I just decided to own my feelings. I can still love someone without them returning the favor. I can still worry, and rejoice, and want the very best for someone else without any expectations. It's all part of my human experience.

So suck it.

I'm not afraid of much, but depression, in any magnitude, scares the hell out of me given my past experiences with family members who have been affected by it. It makes me relive painful things and touches the darkest corners of my heart, and it almost debilitates me with terror and anxiety that makes me afraid to answer the phone when it rings. I try not to think of it, I don't like where my mind goes, and it makes me go into my own "Dark Mood". Normally, I can snap out of it, but just going there, and that feeling of helplessness...

And speaking of phones, my cell phone service is not working. I'm not overly thrilled, and I've already spoken with the pinheads at AT&T. They tell me my phone should be working, but it's not. So, if you have been trying to call me (and I know everyone has been trying to call me because I'm so desirable), have patience.

I managed to snag the attention of the guy who does the lawn of one of my neighbors. He also does landscaping and offered some great suggestions of my backyard that doesn't involve grass. Because my backyard looks like Afghanistan, there's not much hope for any type of grass to grow under such large trees, a huge yard of mulch might be an option....with various flora and fauna that can grow in a desolace. I'll spend the winter trying to come up some something awesome. Meanwhile, the new Grass Man (who has a degree in horticulture ftw!), will be coming over next week to work on the front yard.

I will have a lush lawn somewhere on my property!!


Erika said...

I smell sex and candy!

Bill the Painter said...

I couldn't think of a party I'd rather attend...but I'm sure I wouldn't fit in! Pictures? ;)

Many people feel just like you. We get down in the dumps, but sometimes it goes much lower than that. I've been there and done that. Sometimes it's a good way to heal and work things out.

You really need to know and understand that some things are beyond your control and ALWAYS get better!

Sometimes life sucks, but you are better than that and will overcome it!