Damn...it would appear I totally missed out this past weekend. Instead of sleeping in, playing WoW, hanging with the fam, I could have been scouring the internets for my soul mate.
E-Harmony had a promotional deal for the Labor Day weekend where you could communicate for free for the entire weekend. Then, you will meet your soul mate and bowling partner (according to the commercials, anyway).
I joined eHarmony once. I went to nursing school with a girl who had met her husband through that site, and he was a nice guy. I had been out of my serious relationship for a while, and I thought why the hell not?
How it works, is that you spend an ungodly amount of time answering a shitload of questions about you, your ideals, core values, mission statements, and all those snappy catch words that are usually reserved for work resumes. But this was your dating resume, which is much more important that any career because you are applying to be a soul mate. So, after answering a gajillion questions, the eHarmony gnomes process your answers and spits out a list of people they feel you match up with.
Now, I don't consider myself a social pariah, but apparently, eHarmony thought so. Okay, so maybe the matches didn't meet my own personal expectations, and some might argue that is why I fail at the dating scene...my standards are set way too high. eHarmony was apparently telling me to lower mine, because if I did, my dating options were limitless as long as I didn't consider good dental hygiene a priority as well as a college degree.
eHarmony, knowing that I was a nurse, apparently thought my singleness would be cured by putting me with guys who apparently needed a nurse. I had to check to make sure I didn't accidentally hit the wrong button and navigated to a private duty nurse website. Some guys have a secret desire to be with a woman who knows how to work a pole. My matches had a blatant need for a woman who could work an IV pole.
My membership with eHarmony was short-lived. I never did meet anyone from that site. The final straw was the guy who wanted to meet in person, but said I had to drive because his disability wouldn't allow for it. However, his mom would be more than willing to drop him off somewhere. I work as nurse, I don't particularly care to be one when I come home as well. Unless it calls for me to wear these...
Fuck you, eHarmony.