Tuesday, December 19, 2006

If a Fat Girl Screams in an Empty House, Do the Appliances Laugh at Her?

Excited, I took over some dirty linens to the house to wash in my very own washer and dryer. Ahhh...just saying that gives me warm, fuzzy feelings: my very own washer and dryer.

Before I could do laundry, however, I had to hook up the washer and dryer. Not too hard...hot water hose goes to hot water spout, cold water hose goes to cold water spout, plug it in, wash clothes.

So, I started my first load and was alarmed that I had no hot water running into the washer. Logic would tell me that certainly there is some sort of knob or something that I turn on so the hot water can go to the washer, right?

I disappear into the storage room that houses the furnace, hot water heater, and all those other things that run a house behind the scenes. After poking around, I see a red lever which looks like it is piped into the utility room where the washer sits. I turn the lever and I hear water begin to run. Awesome.

I hop up the stairs to the utility room where I poke my head in the washer. Still no hot water. Then where is all that water running to? I thought. Maybe I would just peek around the house and try to find out.

First place I looked was the kitchen, where a fountain of water is shooting out of the ground, spraying the cabinets, the walls, and pretty much soaking everything that is in the kitchen. I scream and run downstairs and make a mad dash to shut off the red lever. Apparently, that lever controls the water that is meant to go to the refrigerator for the filtered water and ice maker. Well, at least I know that works, and when the time comes to turn on the ice maker, I'll know exactly which lever to push.

So, I go to Lowes and purchase a Shop Vac. I have a feeling I'm going to be using it a lot.

My water mess cleaned, I decide to just wash in cold water and turn the washer back on. Now it has hot water, and it apparently had nothing to do with anything I did.

The dryer worked without incident of fire, only I discovered a shirt and pair of black socks, the owner being Ridiculously Hot Guy. I think he did this on purpose because he, like all other guys, noticed that I have a really cute butt and wanted to see it, I mean, me again.

Or not.

I did two loads of laundry without flooding or burning the house down. I call that I good day. I also managed to paint a second coat to the red in the dining room and kitchen (red is a bitch of a color to paint), and paint the mushroom color to the bottom third of the dining room wall. I did a small section of the blue (Calvary) in the great room and decided it was too dark, so now I am going to just paint the entire great room the same mushroom color. Tomorrow, I will do just that, in addition to the touch-ups on the red, and start on the white trim in the kitchen and dining room.

I'm sick of painting.


Marti said...

Now we're even for the eggnog-splattered keyboard I caused you! I was laughing out loud at the last couple of posts!

Delighted that you are getting applianced. Aware the turning nouns into verbs is a grammatical no-no. LOL

Stopping by everyone on my blogroll.
Wishing you a wonderful holiday season and a glorious New Year!

Anonymous said...

Wow - you're doing awesome! But that sucked about the water spraying everywhere...

Xavier Onassis said...

BTW, just for future reference, there are attachments you can get that will turn that Shop Vac into a very effective Carpet Shampooer.

Very handy for when the RHG lustily bursts through the door to have his way with you and can't be bothered with niceties like wiping his feet on the porch because he recognized his soulmate in you, wants you more than any woman he has ever seen and won't feel "whole" until you have agreed to be his wife and lover for all eternity.

That visual image is my Christmas gift to you. LOL!

Happy Festivus!