Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Proud Owner of Large Appliances

I decided to give Craigslist another chance and found a listing for a black fridge, in my price range. I emailed right away and the seller responded that I was the first person of many to reply, and he would let me have first crack at it.

So Friday, I drove to his house to check out the fridge. When he opened the door, the first thing that popped into my head was, "What fridge?" He was hot. Ridiculously hot.

God bless Craigslist!

I decided to buy the fridge (and the fact that the seller was hotter than donut grease had nothing to do with that decision) and promised I would return the following day with the means to transport said fridge from point A to point B.

I enlisted my little brother, Mike, and told him to rally as many extra hands as he could find.

The next day, Mike, 'bert and 'bert's Dad arrive with a trailer. Immediately, they set to carting out the fridge in my apartment kitchen. I ask them what they are doing, and tell them the fridge in question is a million miles away in Stanley, Kansas.

So, we trek to middle-of-nowhere and Ridiculously Hot Guy is there. Apparently, my brother has reading my expressions down to an art and he proceeds to say every possible thing to embarrass me in front of Ridiculously Hot Guy. Did I ever mention that my brother minces words about as well as I do?

Larry, Darryl, and Darryl (i.e. my brother and his cronies) in addition to RHG, work to move the massive fridge out to the trailer. I stand by, admiring the strong arms of RHG.

Fridge loaded, RHG presents Mike and the Boys the only two things that he kept in his fridge: a large jar of whole pickles, and almost a half a case of Bud Light. Mike decides that RHG is acceptable enough to date his sister, and shifts his matchmaking gears into overdrive.

RHG mentions that no one has bought his washer and dryer from him, and I immediately jump on him, er, I mean, the window of opportunity to have a washer and dryer of my very own. After inspecting said washer and dryer, I tell Mike and the Boys to load them up with the fridge, which they do.

"Is there anything else in the house you want to sell me?" I innocently ask RHG. Mike practically snorts beer out of his nose. His golden opportunity has arrived.

"What's with all the sexual innuendo, Heather?" Mike asks loudly. I blush ten-thousand shades of red. Bastard. I'm certain RHG now thinks that my family is a bunch of retards. The sooner we can leave him alone, the sooner he can feel better about humanity.

With sad heart, we leave RHG's house and trek to mine. I frequently check my rear view mirror to make sure I don't see a large, black refrigerator tumbling down the highway. We arrive to my house where my brother does his time-honored tradition and proceeds to pollute one of my bathrooms. 'bert uses the other bathroom. My house wins Mike's Seal of Approval because the toilet didn't overflow.

For now, the fridge sits in my garage until I can replace the copper water line for a steel-braided one, and have enough manpower to move the fridge from the garage to the kitchen. But...the important thing is that my search is over, and I now have the exact fridge I have been wanting for my kitchen. The washer and dryer an added bonus.

It was as if it was meant to be.

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