Tales from the Scale

I did my weigh-in Thursday for my first week on Weight Watchers. I lost a grand total of 2.6lbs, which I thought was impressive considering I fell off the eat-healthy wagon at least once.

Empowered by my loss, and bored by the discussion at the meeting that I was guilted into staying for, I texted the joyous news to my friends. I got the following replies:

No-Nicknamed Friend: Yay! Good job, H-Train!
Smo: Good 4 u! I'm proud of u.
Indy: You pooped.

Can you imagine the support I would get if I was kicking a serious habit, like say, oh...meth?

I've done WW before, it always worked for me, but I always ended up quitting because I didn't like being obsessed with food, calculating points, and always thinking of what I'm going to eat for my next meal. I'm more accustomed to food as an afterthought, which stems from the crappy eating habits I developed in my formative years.

I'd skip breakfast, go to school, skip lunch because I was the poor kid that got teased, and the cafeteria was prime hunting grounds for such things. Instead, I would spend my lunch hour taking refuge in the library, and devour books instead of food. I'd go home and snarf all my calories in one sitting, and do it all over the next day. Track season was worse because I'd go to practice on a empty stomach, then I'd go home and eat anything I could get my hands on.

I was always tiny (I remember apologizing to the school nurse when she weighed me in high school and I hit 102lbs...I'd been 97lbs for a long, long time.) It wasn't until my parents divorced and my dad moved us to Nebraska that I started putting on weight. I hated living in Nebraska, particularly the town only known for being the home of that lead guy from Paul Revere and the Raiders, and that person who invented some little plastic thing for peeling hard boiled eggs.

Back to the point: my eating habits suck. I still skip meals, and load up on calories in one meal. At least with WW, I'm actually trying to eat like a normal person.

So, now I'm back in the saddle. WW came up with a new plan where I don't have to count points and be obsessed with food, which is good because I prefer to be obsessed with other things. Not to mention there are a hundred better things to talk about over breakfast instead of what I am going to have for dinner.

I'm not particularly fond of the meetings. They work for some people. I just like to get the reading material and read it on my own. That's my thing, but somehow those little old ladies that work the front desk always guilt you into staying. Okay...I'll stay, but I am NOT wearing the name tag.

This meeting, a member was freaking out because she would be travelling this weekend and she knew they would be stopping at one of those pizza buffets. The dreaded pizza buffet!! Everyone is tossing ideas: eat from the salad bar! Eat just a small piece! Stay in the car and eat a granola bar! Finally, some guy just suggested she request a pizza high in veggies and half the cheese. This conversation took a good ten minutes.

I remember going to a meeting once with Kant, and as we sat there, I had a question.

Me: If you add butter to something, it raises the point value.
WW Rep: Right!
Me: And anything that has a high fiber content, lowers the point value.
WW Rep: Correct!
Me: So, why can't someone just add a fiber additive to their food to lower the points?

WW Rep is puzzled because he clearly has no idea where I am going with this, but the lady sitting behind me does, and she gets very animated...bouncing up and down in her chair. I could just hear the wheels spinning in her head.

Lady: Ooooh!! Like adding that tasteless, colorless fiber to stuff!! To everything!!!

On the way home, I told Kant that that same lady would probably be at home that night, dipping a king sized Snickers bar in a bowl of Benefiber before each bite. A little while later, I noticed that on the WW message boards, people were talking about doing this very same thing. People are always stealing my ideas.

So, now I'm back "on plan". Thankfully, they have an option that doesn't entail points. Just a list of stuff I can eat guilt-free. The hardest part is making myself eat three times a day.

Good thing I like eggs. I rock the scrambled eggs. I'm still not touching onions.