Apparently, my next door neighbors are slugs. Not my Mom and Mr. Recommendation. The ones who live on the other side of me.
Early last year, the older guy who lived there, parked his late-model, four-door Ford POS in front of my house. I noted that the same car had been parked in front of their house initially. I don't know why they decided to move the car. I don't even know why they thought I wouldn't mind them parking it in front of my house.
So, this car sat there, front tire sitting on my grass. Eventually, the tire became so flat, the whole thing came off the rim. Tags showed they had expired back in 2004. At first, I gave the neighbors a break and figured they would move the car once the weather became favorable. But after a year of looking at it, and bitching about it to everyone else, I decided to I needed to do something about it.
The good neighbor across the street told me that the Slughorns (my name for them), are lazy homeowners. The type that drive everyone nuts. At one point, their house was such an eyesore, complaints were made to the city, who then forced the Slughorns to have their house painted. They don't mow their grass. They don't rake the leaves. They don't do anything but glare at everyone else. Neighbor lady told me that to get these people to do anything, they have to be threatened by the city.
I was perusing the city web page looking for info on bulk item pickup (for Mom, or rather, her old stove), when I saw the 311 call page for services. Clicking on that, I discovered I could make a request for abandoned car pick-up. I just filled in my address, explained the problem, and hit enter.
It was so easy!
I received an email saying that my request had been received and someone would be contacting me shortly. I figured I wouldn't hear from anyone for a week or more, because that is how city government works.
So imagine my shock when a tow truck appeared thirty minutes ago, along with a police officer driving the Ford Focus patrol car (poor guy), and said abandoned car was towed away. I watched with glee and clapped softly (as Brother is asleep in the next room) as it was loaded onto the back of the flatbed, and danced in my office as the driver pulled away. I literally danced.
Now the car is gone. I can't believe it's all gone. Holy shit! If I had known how easy and quick that was going to be, I would have reported it AGES ago.
And the funny thing...some dude looking like Larry the Cable Guy came to my house this morning and asked if the car was mine. He was apparently in the business of buying junk cars and was interested. Or maybe it was all a ruse to determine the tow driver wouldn't get shot at while collecting the car.
Regardless of whether Spanky was legit, I don't care. The car is gone! The car is gone! The car is gone!
I don't know how the Slughorns feel about this, I think they were home during the blessed event. Maybe they were happy to be rid of the thing. Maybe I did them a favor.
Or maybe they are just really, really pissed and are now plotting their revenge.
I'd better keep an eye on Sam when he's in the backyard.