Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Hallmark Day!

Ahhh...it's that time of year when people lose their minds and drop serious coin in an effort to fully express their love and appreciation for the object of their affection. Either that or further their cause to finally get laid by that special someone who may be holding out. My disdain for VD (Valentine's Day) has been well documented. If only for the fact that so much emphasis is put on the one day, and the rest go ignored. Dammit! I should be worshipped for the Goddess I am every single day of the year!! Save for some bank holidays. And doctors appointments. If you are going to spend money on someone, at least make it practical. I once dated a guy who gave me a little basket filled with stuff I liked and I actually wanted, like those little rings that make your eggs perfectly round for English muffins. The boyfriend is long gone, but I still have the egg rings and still use them frequently.

Indy spotted me at work, scribbled down a "Valentine Wish" on a kleenex, and chased me down the hall to present it to me with much flourish. I spent the remainder of the morning waiving the tissue around and announcing to everyone that Indy gave me VD. I might have left off the word "card".On a side note, this has been a strange week for me and the opposite gender. Earlier this week, I got a random message from the lawyer I dated briefly so many years ago telling me to delete him from my contacts because he was "in a relationship with a woman he loved". The weird part being that I haven't talked to him in a year or so since he gave me his number for referrals when he was unceremoniously dumped from his job as prosecutor after he got busted for drunk driving. I don't know what initiated this, I would assume that maybe all the exes got the same message. So, I just shrugged and did as asked, even though I had contemplated full disclosure by telling him that he sucked in bed and had a tiny penis.I'm pretty happy with my current personal life, none of which I will divulge at this time. I don't expect him to do anything for me today because that's not how we roll. If he did, I would almost expect his offering would require a couple AA batteries...and a can of Reddi-Whip.So, here's to another Valentine's Day. I think the best ones in my life were when I was a kid and we had fun Valentine's Day parties in elementary school. Before anal parents were created, you could still have home-baked treats brought in, and the rest of the afternoon was pissed away by eating said treats, swapping cheap Valentine cards, suckers, and red hots, and showing your ass because your mother had the misfortune of being the Class Mother for that particular party.


Those were the days!!!

4 comments:

Donna said...

Get this: We're in the store yesterday and Cliff insists I walk over to the Valentine section and pick out a box of chocolates for myself. Forget the surprise element, he wanted to be sure I got the kind I liked. Haaa!

"No," I told him. "Wait till Monday; they'll be cheap then."

Oh no, Mr. Romantic insisted we pay $10 for $1 worth of candy. I won't blog about this because it would hurt his feelings. I wouldn't change him for the world.

bobbie said...

I'm with you on this one... HIGHLY over-rated!!!

RDM said...

Heather,

You nailed it. It's a shame more women don't think like you. I'm still laughing at the lawyer dude. What a trip, huh?

Lose my number.

Logtar said...

I also don't think flowers, candy or attention should be celebrated only one day... I think overall its a dumb made up holiday.