I Didn't Forget!!

So, my big 35th birthday was Sunday. We had a group outing to Hamburger Mary's on Saturday because most people work on Monday morning. The plan was to go have dinner, then go to another location and burn the place down.

It would appear that Alzheimer's-Riddled Mother Nature had other plans and dropped 10 inches of snow on KC. Dinner went well (I will post a review later), the other half of my plan didn't materialize because the streets were shit.

I have issued a rain check for debauchery. Particularly on a night where there is no snow and the weather is pleasant.

Sunday, Mom and Mr. Recommendation treated me to a champagne brunch at V's (another review later), which was absolutely awesome, and probably the best brunch in KC.

Later, I had a nap. It was glorious. That evening, I got to hang out with a special friend. Aside from the weather, I'd say a good birthday weekend.

I'm 35 years old. Funny, I don't feel like I should be 35. No, not like those women who desperately cling to their youth by patronizing a plastic surgeon, and raiding their teenage daughter's closet. When I look in the mirror, I see the fine lines around my eyes and mouth as badges earned for enduring. I don't know what 35 is supposed to feel like, but it doesn't feel any different than 25. Age is just a number. Attitude is everything.

And you probably thought I forgot about my toy giveaway. I didn't. I'm not tech savvy enough to use one of those computer name things. Hell, I'm still looking for screenshots I saved last year. Instead, I wrote down the names, tossed them in the infamous purple boonie hat, and drew the winner. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Oh? You probably want to know who that is, huh??

Ok.

Utah is in for a surprise drop of sex toys, because Beckle the Freckle has won the drawing. Wootness!! So, Beckle, you shall be getting an email from me, and I will be shipping you a box full of all kinds of naughtiness.

Just don't tell the Mormon church it was from me.

Better Luck Next Time!

So, I didn't win the blog makeover giveaway thingie. Oh well...win some, lose some. I went to check the winner to see what their blog was about. Well, I really couldn't tell you what it was about...I fell asleep part way in.

Night shifters...we're so unreliable.

At any rate, I guess we are stuck with the white (or rather, off-white, or maybe more grayish than white) on black until I can procure my own blog master (or mistress) that won't charge me my left kidney for a complete overhaul. Or even someone who can be paid in sex toys. Money is so common...why not be compensated with the gift that keeps on giving!

That being said, I am still holding my Pleasure Chest Giveaway. Now, I am opening up entries for whomever wants to enter. The ones who selfless pimped my blog, you get three extra entries, which puts you at a definite advantage.

I've been putting together the Pleasure Chest, and I must say that it's looking pretty good. I tend to overdo with things like that...which can only mean good things for the winner.

So, if you want to enter, just leave a comment. And I will announce the big winner on my birthday...March 21, which used to be the First Day of Spring, until some asshole scientist decided that the first day of spring was March 20. Whatever. In my book, the first day of spring will always be on my birthday. How else am I supposed to remember when it is when I'm a senile senior citizen?

I didn't do anything spectacular for St. Patrick's Day. I thought about going out with the masses of asses and drink green-colored beverages so I can have green urine later. But then, I remembered I'm not Irish, and I have a birthday I need to save my reserves for. Instead, Mom and I enjoyed Mongolian BBQ. Because nothing says Happy St. Patrick's Day like a steaming plate of stir fry.

Time to go to bed...I've got work to prepare for!!

Wanted: A Kickass Makeover...And You Can Help!!

My colleague, Candice, has a totally awesome blog that I'm obsessed with. She is bitingly sarcastic, crude, funny, witty, and intelligent. I think we are related. It's probably good that she lives in Texas. So much awesome cannot be contained in one state. Just ask Chuck Norris.

More to the point, she got a nifty blog makeover. I found myself envious, because I'm not overly blessed with html-fu and can't craft an equally snazzy layout. Then, she announced a blog makeover giveaway and I got excited. Let's face it, the only thing eye-popping at GB is the title. I've already heard enough bitching about the white-on-black writing to give me hemorrhoids, to which none of my coworkers are willing to help take care of.

I think many of you would agree I think some sprucing up here. Not to toot my horn, but this blog has been linked from a few sites for new or aspiring nurses (the site was supposed to encourage them...I still don't know why my blog was linked as it would seem to have the opposite effect). This blog has been linked from Fark (probably the greatest moment in this blog's life). It's been linked from a couple national news sites. Plus, I am confident that it is the bane of a certain Extreme Home Makeover Recipient who is currently running for public office.

Such a special site should have a special look to go with it. Don't you agree?

Besides, Candice promises that I will get laid more if I get a new blog layout. Toys can only get you so far, people!

So, you may be wondering how you can help. (No, not by offering lay-services.)

Well, you can leave a comment as to why you think I need a new blog layout. Sure, you can go over to her site and enter for your own blog (and I will pretend to not notice). But by leaving a thoughtful and passionate plea, you will also have a chance at doing yourself a big favor.

How?

Well, for everyone who submits a comment, they are entered into a drawing for a cache of toys so you can really do yourself a big favor later. And I'm not talking Legos. I almost feel like an idiot for having to clarify this point, but as sure as I sit here, someone is going to be wondering...these toys/accessories are new and unused.

Even if I don't win the contest, you still come out the winner. Over and over again. Hell, it could even prove an interesting evening for more than one person should you decide to share your spoils (if you are into that sort of thing...not that there is anything wrong with it).

Is this bribery? Perhaps. Am I shameless? Absolutely! But I've been meaning to have a toy giveaway, and this seems like a good kill-two-birds-with-one-stone opportunity.

To be entered, you need to leave a comment on this blog letting me know you pimped me out. On the 21st (my birthday!), I will take the names and make Indy draw one out of a hat. I will then send you an email and soon your prize will come in the mail. Not everyone can make the claim of having the ability to deliver orgasms to your doorstep. I can.

Good luck and may the schwartz be with you...and me as well!

Good Think I'm Not Married Then!

-9 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Poor (Failure) Take the test!

One Word Answers

Another meme I found...

You're Feeling: Tired
To Your Left: Mug
On Your Mind: Boys
Last Meal Included: Ketchup
You Sometimes Find it Hard To: Workout
The Weather: Sunny
Something You Have a Collection of: Magnets
A Smell that Cheers You Up: Spring
A Smell that Can Ruin Your Mood: Necrosis
How Long Since You Last Shaved: Yesterday
The Current State of Your Hair: Bedhead
The Largest Item On Your Desk/Workspace Right Now (besides computer): Crock
Your Skill with Chopsticks: Mad
Which Section You Head to First In the Bookstore: Clearance
...and After That?: Releases
Something You're Craving: Sleep
Your General Thoughts On the Presidential Race: Overkill
How Many Times You've Been Hospitalized this Year: None
A Favorite Place to Go for Quiet Time: Bedroom
You've Always Secretly Thought You'd Be a Good: Sexologist
Something that Freaks You Out a Little: Lice
Something You've Eaten Too Much of Lately: Hamburgers
You Have Never: married
You Never Want To: divorce

Tag: Everyone.

Lost? Or Just Out to Lunch?

Uhhh, so I don't watch this show. I think I'm the only person on the planet that doesn't watch this show. I sometimes say I will, but I've said that about other t.v. shows.

Which Lost Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

I don't even know who this guy is...

I am a Rock (Simon and Garfunkel)

I borrowed this from Average Jane.

Directions:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, iPod etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY? Until I Collapse (Eminem)
2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-o-Rama (White Zombie)
3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? Into the Ocean (Blue October)
4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? She's a Lady (Tom Jones)
5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Go West (Pet Shop Boys)
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Cadillac Ranch (Chris LeDoux)
7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Next Contestant (Nickelback)
8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Round Here (Counting Crows)
9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Love Me In a Special Way (El Debarge)
10. WHAT IS 2 + 2? Spanish Gypsy Dance (Mantovani Orchestra)
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR EX? Somewhere in the Vicinity of the Heart (Alison Krauss)
12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? One (Metallica)
13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Space Walk (Lemon Jelly)
14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Someone Like You (Linda Eder)
15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Lips of an Angel (Hinder)
16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Down Home (Alabama)
17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Reflection (Christina Aguilera)
18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Feed Jake (Pirates of the Mississippi)
19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Stuck on You (Lionel Richie)
20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? There for Me (Sarah Brightman)

Now press Next one more time and use it as your title.

Genius. Pure Genius

You Are 85% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood. Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Uhhhh

You Are Ani Difranco!

Honest, real, and well liked. You're not limited by any boundaries. "And you can call me crazy But I think you're as lazy as white paint on the wall"

Who's Your Inner Rock Chick?

I knew a guy who loved Ani.

I have no idea who she is. I think I will go find some music by her so I will be "in the know".

When I'm Good, I'm Good. When I'm Bad, I'm Better

How evil are you?

Apparently, I'm the Diet Coke of Evil.

Not Surprising

I got this from Spyder.

You Are a Liberal Republican

When you tell people that you're Republican, they rarely believe you. That's because you're socially liberal - likely pro-choice and pro-gay rights. You're also not so afraid of big goverment, as long as it benefits people and not politicians. You are the most likely of any Republican type to swing over to the Democrat side sometimes.

What's Your Political Persuasion?

Memememe

I got this meme idea from Spyder, then XO did it. So, you know I had to jump on that wagon.


Rules: Paste the first line of your first post for each month, starting with January 2007.


January: Forgive my tardiness in blogging. I assembled my computer this week, only to find that the modem crapped out somewhere between the apartment and the house..


February: I was unable to go out and run any errands yesterday due to crappy streets, which forced me to engage in a sort of scramble today.


March: What. The. Hell.


April: After a two-hour long spiel from the water softener guy who came to my house (I did end up buying a system, in case you were wondering), I skimmed through the channels to see what was on.


May: My friend, Woody, came over this evening because he wanted to mow the yard.


June: By the new Walmart, they have been building some new stuff.


July: Yes, I went to the blogger meet up.


August: After Sam woke me up (little fuzzy bastard), I called my friend Trish, who suggested we go have lunch because I was planning on being in the Northland today anyway.


September: Friday night, we ordered Chinese take-out.


October: I thought I would start this Monday Musings because I usually have a bunch of random thoughts throughout the weekend, but usually don't have the time or the energy to sit down and actually write a full blown post about each and every little thing.


November: Initially, I didn't get any trick or treaters.


December: While I was in the shower, Lucy decided to snack on one of my work clogs.


In reading all these, it sounds like I have a very boring blog.