Thursday, September 29, 2005

I Get Around

I worked last night...gimpy foot and all. My bosshole came in and I harped on him for having common use items out of reach for short people. I then requested a stepstool for the med room. He laughed at me. I get no respect.

On a related matter, I slept clean through the alarm and missed my doctor's appointment. Shit. Now, I have to call and reschedule.

Work went well...dealing with sick people and stupid doctors. We always try to make light of our situation and goof off as much as humanly possible because laughing is sure better than crying. Last night, a bunch of nurses were going around talking like they were mentally retarded (out of earshot of other folks). Yes, I work with a bunch of short-bus nurses. Katie is the funniest. It's not uncommon to see her dancing a jig down the hall on her way to the med room. I'm just the sarcastic one...I always have a smartass remark for everything.

One thing I have come to know about my that gossip spreads at the speed of light, true or not. I have a working knowledge of which resident "got on top" of which nurse, who's married and sleeping around, who likes bondage, etc. I even know that one nurse likes a little backdoor action because the resident she was dating told his colleagues, who in turn told EVERYEONE. That couple has moved on to wherever his medical education took him, but for the longest time, when I would get report from this nurse...all I could think of was, "She likes it in the poop chute." There's just certain things about your coworkers that you just shouldn't know.

And this is one of the reasons I won't date a doctor. They can't keep their mouth shut and their pants on. This is also the reason I would never consider marrying a doctor. Too many nurses out there who went to school for the specific pupose of finding a doc to marry, and they are out there hunting. I would just rather not deal with that kind of worry. Besides, I can get more out of the docs (for my patients) because I'm not throwing myself at them. They know I am there to do a job, I know what I am talking about, and they respect that.

Actually, I try to keep my personal life under a tight lid...but that hasn't stopped the rumor mill from cranking out their own assumptions. I could only wish my social life was as busy as my colleagues thought it was. According to them, I have my own fan club. I'm dating this nurse in the float pool. I'm seeing this respiratory therapist. I'm going out with this new resident. While these guys do exist, I am just friends with them. Apparently, girls and guys can't just be friends without some sort of sexual attachment. Whatever.

So last night, I was gimping around the unit. Said RT was working across the hall and would come over periodically to visit. Said nurse was working downstairs and did stop by once to chat. On that one occasion, they both were on the floor at the same time. So, there we were...sitting at the desk having a spirited conversation. (Later, both would ask me if I was dating the other.) I return to work on Monday and I'm sure there will now be some rumor circulating that I do threesomes....foursomes if they remember that said resident I'm supposed to be seeing.

My father used to always say, "Better to talk about me...they are leaving some other poor sucker alone." The gossip doesn't bother me as I know it isn't true. Besides, my gossip is quite boring, and there is always something juicier for people to talk about...which I suppose is the beauty of working in a huge teaching hospital.

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