Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A Flock Without Their Fooked-Up Shepherd

I have fairly strong views on polygamy. I don't know why. The practice long-abandoned by the mainstream LDS church, still in practice today by small fundamentalist groups in little pockets of the country. "Fundies" as we like to refer to them. They call themselves Mormons, but I'd like to think of them more as that annoying asshole second-cousin-twice-removed who does more to tarnish the family name, than do anything to contribute.

That, and he's a child molester that has eluded the law so much, you can't help but wonder if anyone is really looking for him.

Okay, so I really have issues with child molesters. Maybe that is why I hate polygamists so much. I'm not saying all polygamists are child molesters, but what kind of sick 50-something year old bastard takes a 13 year old for his 12th wife? This is not sacred. This is pedophilia masked as divine right. The same mentality terrorists use to justify killing innocent people.

Because God wants them to.


So, imagine my extreme pleasure to see that Warren Jeffs was captured in Nevada on some menial traffic stop. Besides being one sick asshat, he also is proven to be the World's Biggest Hypocrite. Many members of his flock live in poverty. That asshole was caught in a 2007 Cadillac Escalade, numerous cell phones, laptops and over $50,000 in cash. Somehow, I don't think Jeffs was suffering through life on the run eating Top Ramen and Hamburger Helper.

If I had my way, this dipshit wouldn't ever see the light of day again, plus have his testicles gnawed off by hamsters...but unfortunately, I don't always get it my way. However, I can only hope he is put away for the rest of his life. Because he was pretty much the sole power of the church (the only one "ordained" to perform marriages, the only decision-maker of the church, etc.), one can only hope that the Fundies sect will sort of crumble like a house of cards. It doesn't sound like Jeffs had a plan of succession in place.

I hope that State Trooper who caught him gets special recognition. Hell, he at least deserves the reward. What a charge that must be...to be responsible for the capture of one of the FBI's Most Wanted.

That's what I call a good day at work.


Faith said...

It never fails to amaze me that people would enter into some sort of belief system like that. Seriously...how do people feel good about themselves when they believe in shitheads like this Jeffs guy and the stuff he preaches? Very weird.

I'm so glad I'm normal!

Xavier Onassis said...

I've never understood polygamy.

Don't get me wrong, I understand 3somes, 4somes, moresomes and lesbians. Ahhh, L E S B I A N S! I LOVES me some women.

But polygamy involves multiple WIVES. That means multiple demands to take out the garbages, fix the garage doors, change the oil in the cars, walk the dogs and mow the lawns (in HBO's "Big Love" [the ultimate authority on Mormon polygamy, I'm sure] all of the wives have their own house and the husband "visits" them).

Plus, it opens the door to "price fixing". If they all get together and decide you are IN VIOLATION about something, you've got half a dozen women denying you sex. Any idea what that can do to a guys self-esteem?

I've been married twice. My opinion is that one wife at a time is quite sufficient, thank you very much.

In fact, in at least 2 of those marriages, one turned out to be exactly one too many.

"The D" said...

These douche bags can have multiple wives and I can't even get a date for a fucking corporate X-mas Party. SHIT!

Annie said...

Read "Under the Banner of Heaven" -- it's very enlightening about the history of Mormons and the Fundamentalist Mormons.

If what they say is true about this guy (be aware of the press -- they don't always speak the truth), I'd like to see his testicles stapled to the floor.

Heather said...

I have a pretty good working knowledge of why polygamy was implemented in the infancy of the Mormon church...the reasons the Fundies use to justify polygamy are not the reasons they did it back in the day.

Jeffs should have his testicles stapled to the floor. He's another David Koresh, but with more power. I've read a couple of blogs by his followers. There's some seriously brainwashed folks there.

Heather said...

Oh, D...I'll go with your to your party. But don't expect me to put out. lol