Friday, June 22, 2007

Thursday Blather

Today, I baked two batches of homemade Oreos. The first batch was awesome. The second batch, I was just a little short on sugar, so I used Splenda. The box said I could use it the same way I would use sugar in terms of baking. WRONG! Where my first batch came out all nice and flat, the second batch came out puffy. Now, I have a batch of small, fat Oreos. Oh well...I'm sure folks will not complain of the fat Oreos as they shovel them into their mouths.

I took the car to the tire shop to have a leaky tire fixed. I took it to Walmart on Monday for the same reason, but the flat tire that greeted me Tuesday morning was a clear sign that something was missed. At any rate, I feel confident that I won't have a flat tire come morning. If I do, I'm going to be pissed.

I picked up Mom from work and took her to my house, but not before stopping at the gas station to fill up the PT. Some egghead was sitting in her car, looking like she was finished, so I pulled in behind her. We waited...and waited...and waited. Then, she got out to start filling her tank, jumping in surprise at seeing me parked behind her, like she had NO CLUE that entire gas station was busier than a one-legged person in a butt-kicking contest. Dumbass. Mom yells out a sarcastic "Thank You!", I tell her that because she is not well versed in the art of being an asshole, she should leave such things to those who have being an asshole down to a science.

Dumbass Johnson County girl then tries to put in her debit card SIX TIMES. Each time, swiping the card, punching the pin, pushing the button to select her gas, then hitting cancel. Six times before she switched cards. She only put in $10 in gas, which is roughly a little over a gallon, before getting in her car. However, before she did, I instructed Mom to start applauding and cheering with me. The guy sitting at the next pump over snorted soda out of his nose.

I told Mom to take's not everyday you see a retarded person driving a car. A Mercedes, no less. The reason her card wouldn't work: the debit system was down. I know this because it said so...RIGHT ON THE PUMP!!

The Boyfriend meets us at my house, offers a quick demonstration on how to run the power sprayer I will be using next week for my big deck refinishing project. We go to Salty Iguana for dinner, where The Boyfriend is exceedingly grumpy (bad day at work). Mom and The Boyfriend go on their merry way, and I go to Lowes and see if there is anything I might have missed in one week I haven't been there. I find a cute shelf on clearance that will go great in my office, once I get it painted...whenever that is going to happen.

I call Paul (ND!) and check on him because he fell violently ill earlier this week, and is now home gorked on pain meds. He was all slurry, and promised he would call me later tonight. He never did. I doubt he even remembers I called in the first place. If I wasn't so annoyed with him right now, I might be more concerned. I'm sure I'll get over it by Monday.

Tomorrow, I go back to work. Ugh. Everyone else is going on Worlds of Fun excursions this weekend except me. I get no Worlds of Fun, unless you count enemas, bedpans, and some grumpy old man hocking loogies on the floor fun.


Faith said...

I don't understand Worlds of Fun excursions in the summertime. In the spring...yes. In the fall, absolutely. But when it's 85 degrees out with a humidity level of 99% at 10 a.m. and only getting hotter as the day goes on, the last fucking thing I wanna do is walk around an amusement park - in the SUN! - to wait in line for a ride over and over and over.

No thank you!

But I don't like amusement parks much to begin with, so there's that reasoning as well.

Why would one choose the debit option on a gas dispenser when one an simply sqipe and move on when using the credit option? Retard, indeed.

Marti said...

Crap - lost the damned internet connection....lost my comment.

I LOVE reading your blog! You are so fucking funny!