I went to Sweet Tomatoes with Mother tonight. While standing in line, a woman and her young daughter were eyeing the potato salad. The mother commented that the salad had bacon, to which the daughter went on a big, dramatic tirade about the evils of bacon.
"Why do they have to go and ruin everything with bacon!?!?!"
Bacon! The magical food!! Bacon! It makes more people happy than Prozac. Bacon! Is there anything bacon can't do??? I'm fairly confident, that somewhere in bacon, resides the cure to cancer.
It was not normal to have such loathing of bacon. Truly, this was a child of evil. Only evil could hate bacon with such a passion.
I came this close to turning around and chastising the girl, but then it occurred to me that she could have been Jewish. That is the only exception that bacon-hating is okay. All others are damned to a lifetime of tofu.