Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Get Thee Hence, Child of Satan!

I went to Sweet Tomatoes with Mother tonight. While standing in line, a woman and her young daughter were eyeing the potato salad. The mother commented that the salad had bacon, to which the daughter went on a big, dramatic tirade about the evils of bacon.

"Why do they have to go and ruin everything with bacon!?!?!"

Bacon! The magical food!! Bacon! It makes more people happy than Prozac. Bacon! Is there anything bacon can't do??? I'm fairly confident, that somewhere in bacon, resides the cure to cancer.

It was not normal to have such loathing of bacon. Truly, this was a child of evil. Only evil could hate bacon with such a passion.

I came this close to turning around and chastising the girl, but then it occurred to me that she could have been Jewish. That is the only exception that bacon-hating is okay. All others are damned to a lifetime of tofu.



Donna said...

So, can I tell everybody that I know a nurse who said it's GOOD to eat bacon?


Keith Sader said...

She could also be a Muslim...

Faith said...

Maybe she'll grow out of it.

I have a friend that doesn't like chocolate, except in her pregnancies. I can't imagine not liking chocolate! OR bacon, for that matter. My life would be so empty without the two...