Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day Can Suck It


My contempt of Valentine's Day is legend. I still stand by my belief that you should shower the object of your affection on a regular basis, just not one day. It's true, that there are a lot of people out there (mostly women), who think of Valentine's Day as a sort of measuring tool to see how much their siggy other lurves them. The bigger, more expensive show of affection, the more the intended object is loved. In fact, there is a scientific calculation that states that the amount of love is directly correlated to how many people have seen said Valentine offering. Kind of like those butt-assed expensive weddings that cease to be about the couple getting married, and more for show for everyone else. See! He loves me! He mortgaged his house and sold a kidney to finance this display of affection!!

True, had things worked out with Mr. Perfect, there might be some semblance of observation of this day. Oh, who am I kidding. I have to work the entire weekend. Any sort of Valentine Day observation would be me going to his house between shifts and offering him a Valentine's Day hummer or something. Sacrificing sleep for his personal pleasure would have spoke volumes of my commitment. On the same token, I would suspect he would have done something pretty special because he was one of those hopeless romantic types. Perhaps he would have cleaned my house. That would have been awesome.
But on a side note, at least I won't have to observe March 14th. And I do happen to make a killer steak. His loss.

Someone at work had the hair-brained idea of having a locker decorating contest for V-Day. Only one nurse got excited as she was one of those newlyweds that's still overly excited about being married. She said she would put pictures up of her honeymoon, and win, because there's nothing more romantic than honeymoon pictures. Barf.

I'll try not to be depressed this Sunday, and dwell on regrets. I'm working things out in my own way to get over him. It's much easier, and more entertaining, to be a bitter woman than to be clinically depressed. Hell, maybe I will even get another cat.

So, happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented, and entirely arbitrary, manipulative and shallow interpretation of romance day. You suck.

7 comments:

Donna said...

I've been married since 1966; I used to remind Cliff Valentine's Day was coming up so he'd get me some Russell Stover candy. Nowadays I don't need the candy, and I leave him alone. What really torques my jaw is men sending flowers to their wives at work, because that's obvious done so others will see it; and I have a sneaking hunch the wife told him to do it. If it's for show, it's no good, in my book.

pre-midlife pre-nursing student said...

I just want this day to be over with. Tonight, I'm going to check out a social networking event. I figure the more people I meet, the sooner I'll get over my ex. ;)

Deputy's Wife said...

I'm a newlywed and couldn't care less about Valentine's day. Why do you need one day to show how much you love somebody? I don't get it.

kate said...

Yeah, I'm a newlywed and for our first V-Day together, my husband and I went to the Sprint Center and got drunk at the monster truck rally. It doesn't get much more romantic than that ;)

PFL0W said...

that is one great, fun, original entry, GB, and great pics to go w/ it.

thanks for the entertainment and laugh.

Mo Rage

Moose said...

I spent VD trying to pass a kidney stone. YAY!

Also I really need to send that "Please don't reproduce" to a few dozen people I know.

[My captcha word is "tylnesi". That's a drug that does not help kidney stone pain :-P.

Bill the Painter said...

Valentine's day is ok, but the best gifts are given "just because."

Flowers for no good reason have a MUCH more powerful impact than flowers on V-day.

GB, your time will definitely come! I keep saying that because I know its true.