American Botards

I don't watch American Idol. Even though I go to great lengths to avoid watching this show, I still am subjected to it.

So, we are now down to the final two...The Utah Mormon vs. That Kid That KC Has Been Cramming Down My Throat. I read somewhere that his old house is for sale, and the realtor is even actually using that as a sales feature.

You too could sit on the very toilet that David Cook's bare ass sat on!!

Really tough choice. My loathing of Utah Mormons has been well documented (when I see a picture of the Dad, I start looking for sharp objects). And if I hear the name David Cook mentioned one more time, I'll barf. Really. He looks like he combed his hair with a pork chop.

Why can't the Westboro Baptist Church picket this show? They could say God Hates America, and that is why we now have Simon Cowell, Batshit Crazy Paula, and a plethora of fame whores willing to sing my ears into a full-on hemorrhage.

I'm rooting for a Scud missile to hit the theater just as they are about to announce the winner.

Only then would I actually start to like the show.