Thursday, December 25, 2008

Nurse Follies: Merry Kissmyass!

Usually, hospitals are quiet on the holidays. Most folks have the good sense to stay away from the hospital for Christmas, and put off going to the doctor until after the holiday. It seems that only the truly sick and twisted remain on the reservation. That includes the staff.

Not so much this year.

So far, my holiday shifts have sucked and they have sucked hard. The diagnosis du jour is detox off of whatever the patient happens to consume the most of. Often leaving them deranged, psychotic assholes. One even attempted to strangle a staff member. So, we tied their ass down. Docs were not overly concerned. Why should they be?? It wasn't their air supply that was threatened. I called to complain to the Bosshole about the impropriety of it all. He told me to just keep him posted.

And speaking of the higher-ups select the dumbest fucking residents on the planet to fill in for the holidays leaving the smart ones to stay at home and enjoy a day off with their families?? I can't count how many times I've made the incredulous "You can't be serious" face.

And the unit smells like someone lit a campfire somewhere. It's not smokey, just smelly. A drug-seeking patient complained that the smell was causing them pain and could they have some more narcotics?? Nice try, Toots. Denied!

This hasn't been a good night. I'm submitting a list for Santa to add to his naughty list.

1. Drug-seekers
2. Alcoholics
3. Stupid residents
4. Crackwhores
5. Bosshole
6. That twit down in Admitting

The only thing that made me laugh was seeing Indy run around dressed like one of the Keebler elves. So much red and green on one person should be outlawed.

I have hope that Christmas night will be better, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Maybe I should, then I could pass out and have a legitimate reason for calling in.


Nuke said...

A bum ankle AND grief at work? Sounds like you musta been the naughty one this year.

Just kiddin, I hope tonight goes a little better for ya. Merry Christmas H-train!

Stacey K said...

Here's to hoping that the twit from admitting and bosshole get stuck in an elevator with a drug-seeker, an alcoholic and a couple of crack whores, with the only people able to get them out being stupid residents.

bobbie said...

What are you doing working on that foot?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Suzy said...

One doctor told me to never go to a hospital over any holiday because it's only lowly of the low residents working. Remember my 900$ nosebleed that a jerk resident coulnd stop? I only paid half and told them to F.O.