I Have Syphilis!

And I got it from another woman!

(Ignore that thump you just heard coming from the west. He'll regain consciousness soon.)

My non-Utah Mormon friend, Beckle (mistress of Spoon! and master baker), asked me a while ago for my mailing address, as she wanted to send me something extra special. I emailed my addy, and waited. And waited. Then I just forgot about it until about a month ago when she emailed me and told me that my extra special surprise was en route, and she would explain the delay after I got it.

I figured it was going to be an Idaho Spud because we talked about it once and I mentioned I wanted to see one up close. A confection that supposed to look like a potato, but looks more like one of Hank's turds wrapped in oats.Friends in Idaho tell me that Hank's turd would probably taste better.

Anyway, a week later, a box arrived from Think Geek, which has now become my most favorite online store for all my closet geek needs. I opened the box, and much to my delight, I found this.My very own syphilis nestled in it's own petri dish!! You know you are nurse when you get excited to get SmTDs! (Snail-mail Transmitted Diseases).Beckle then told me that she had purchased the little critters back in the day, but her four-year old daughter absconded with them. When Beckle discovered this, the daughter pleaded, and in the end, Beckle relented and let her daughter keep the syphilis, thinking she would lose interested in a day or two...which didn't happen. That girl loved her syphilis, kissing and snuggling it often. She would go around the house saying things like, "Thank you so much for giving me Syphilis, Mommy!" and "I'm going to sleep with Syphilis tonight!" and even showing visitors her syphilis, which in Utah, I'm sure went over very well.

Turns out, Think Geek has all these wonderful microbes available for purchase. Indy doesn't think it's funny, but I think it's hilarious. Especially since I'm going to be sending microbes out instead of birthday cards.

But for now, I think I may order the penicillin microbes, you know, so my syphilis won't be lonely.