Thursday, September 27, 2007

Hot Lovin'...but Not In Kansas

Recently, a grand jury in Johnson County handed down indictments to three businesses for promoting obscenity. One being a Halloween store for selling "obscene costumes" with names such as: Snake Charmer, and Country Lovin', Wet T-Shirt, and Tricky Dick. The second business sells adult videos. The third business being Priscilla's for selling "sex toys, including a dildo."

Isn't that "including a dildo" rather redundant? I mean, they already mentioned sex toys.

These three businesses are being called to the mat not because they enticed young children, (However, in the case of the Halloween costumes, I think it would be prudent to put them in a location in the store not easily viewed by children) but because these businesses violate some mandate handed down from a grand jury in 1989 that outlines what is a breach of community standards.

The Puritans are alive and well and JoCo. Welcome to the Bible Belt, folks. A place where you can find a swingers club without exerting hardly any effort, but selling a porno "without a significant storyline or plot" will land you in court.

I'm not a connoisseur of porn by any standards. Hell, I don't even own porn (I have trouble keeping up with Netflix as it is), but far be it from me to say what other people can and should watch. The same goes for toys. I don't care what adults do in terms of sex, as long as it's consensual, and children are not involved.

Besides, most places that sell adult items (Halloween shop aside) have an age limit, do they not? You have to be an adult to enter. And by being an adult, that means you are legally old enough to make your own choice as to what you are exposed to. Don't like it? Don't look at it.

I know a lot of people in healthy relationships, marriages even, who utilize things like movies and toys to enhance what they do behind closed doors. The fact that some people would like to make it sound like anyone who watches adult movies or uses toys is in some way a sexual deviant or pedophile is way off base. Hell, the people who probably think that still believe that sex should no way be enjoyed and is for procreational purposes only. From my observations, the religious zealots who cry "obscene" the loudest, are usually the ones with the most skeletons hidden in their closets. Just ask Larry Craig, Jim Bakker, and Ted Haggard.

What's next? They going to go after those people who do Passion Parties? Burn them at the stake! Flog them with the double-ended two foot pink jelly dong!! When the Moral Majority is finished, they can outlaw sex to missionary positions only, and only on days that coincide with the fertility cycles of women...which will also be monitored under law.

There are problems with crime, drug use, and child abuse...and THIS is what the Moral Majority of Johnson County focuses on?? I worked in a JoCo hospital for almost 8 years. I know all about the dirty little secrets of its citizens. A business selling an inflatable sheep should be the least of their worries.

It makes me glad I decided not to buy a house on the Kansas side. Sure, my roads may not be the greatest...but at least I don't have to worry about the government invading my bedroom.

You JoCo folks should be worried. Very worried.


"The D" said...

Wait, there's a swingers club in Johnson county? I'm gonna need that name and address. For a friend of course.

emawkc said...

"including a dildo."

I thought this was a reference to the framed pictures of Phill Kline that are on sale.

IDigSmartLadies said...

What's next? They going to go after those people who do Passion Parties? Burn them at the stake! Flog them with the double-ended two foot pink jelly dong!!

That sounds hawt. Where do I sign up to be a witness?

There was, until a few years ago, an off premises (ie, you want hardcore hanky panky, you have to go elsewhere) swing club in a small burb near me. Despite being across the street from the police station of the second most notorious speed trap in the state, it existed undisturbed for many years. Well, undisturbed until a dildo (the non-sex toy kind) from a local news station did a story about "shocking activity at a local club".

Just another anonymous Dick said...

Some fine folks have far too much time on their hands.