To be filed under the "You've Got To Be Joking" category, comes the story of a 20 year mental giant who tried to flush her newborn down the toilet at McDonalds, where she was working at the time. This happened last week, and much to the embarrassment of anyone who has an 816 phone number, right here in our city.
It would be nice if Kansas City was well known for a stellar sports team, low crime rate, or hell, I'd even settle for American Idol winner. But no, asshats like this girl are the ones that put us on the map. Awesome.
Anyway, the girl claims she didn't know she was pregnant. I'm going to have to call bullshit on this on, Alex, unless she was roughly the size of a Ford Excursion, which in any case, was too fat to discern the baby bump...and the missed periods...and the extreme nausea and mood swings...and the fact that you obviously don't use any type of birth control when you have sex...oh, don't forget those contractions!
Then, she admits she tried to flush the baby several times. Okay, let's suspend reality for a minute and say she really didn't know she was pregnant because she has the IQ of a loaf of bread. I don't know of anyone who doesn't look at their deposit when they are done taking a crap, and I know for a fact that anyone who felt like they just passed a 2lb turd, is going to look at it if not out of sheer curiosity. Did she not notice that what she passed had eyes? Hands and feet? Hmmm, there's usually blood involved (not to mention a placenta)...didn't that throw up any alarms?? Apparently not, because she "innocently" tried to flush the baby down the toilet. Not once. Not twice. But THREE TIMES!! According to Alonzo Washington (who is Al Sharpton-lite in some KC circles), Mom of the Year was unaware that the baby was in the toilet.
Everyone, say it with me...BULLSHIT.
And speaking of Alonzo Washington, I had the pleasure of having lunch with friends today, who live in the very area that Washington is trying to clean up. While his beginnings were benevolent and well-intentioned, it is the opinion of many in that, and surrounding neighborhoods, he's turned into quite the Famewhore. That he is only interested in the stories that get his face in the news. That he rolls around in his Escalade on dubs (I had to look that one up), and Edge on occasion, wearing his designer duds and bling. I was also told he has 8 kids (different moms??). I didn't know that.
Me: Isn't that the very image/stereotype he's supposed to be fighting against?
Friend: You would think so. He's becoming a bit of a joke.
To be honest, I had no idea that girl who did this heinous thing, was black. This could have been done by any person with a vagina, because let's face it...stupid comes in all colors. No clue the girl was black until Washington stepped into the limelight. Had she been white, would he had said anything on behalf of the family then? Unlikely. Everyone would have chalked it up to stupid white trash and gone back doing whatever it is they do in their daily life. Who's the spokesperson for stupid white people? Andy Dick?? Jerry Springer???
Maybe Washington should take up the cause of education so there are no more stupid people. Taking on the inept Kansas City School District might be a good place to start. What about preaching the virtues of having protected sex? Or maybe tackle the big enchilada: personal accountability. These are things that people from all races could benefit from.
In the end, I hope the baby turns out okay. I pray that Mother of the Year gets her rights revoked and that baby is adopted by a good, loving family that will raise it to not be stupid. Most of all, I hope that child never, ever learns of it's birth. How much of a mindfuck would that be, finding out that your mom thought of you as nothing more than a piece of shit, and tried to dispose of you as such?
I shudder to think of it.
*this was a direct quote from Washington, I'm assuming it had to do with Precious Doe, but I thought it sounded like it would apply here*