Saturday, October 25, 2008

Nurse Follies: Welcome to Peyton Place

If there is one thing that rings true for working in the medical field, hospitals are a hotbed of sexual activity. (Studies also show that nurses have the best sex because they are self-aware...but I digress.) Oh sure, you have torrid goings-on in any workplace, but there is something about working in a hospital that escalates things. Maybe it has something to do with the men being outnumbered by the women, and those women are hot nurses (we can't help our hotness). Maybe it's because we work in a stressful environment and this is how people deal. Whatever the case may be, you could wander into the dark corners of a hospital after hours on any given night, and stumble upon someone in a compromising position.

It's very commonplace to hear of "inter-office" dating. I know a lot of married couples who work in the same field, if not the same hospital. I know a lot of married couples who met in the hospital they work at. It makes sense...who is going to better understand the stresses and schedule of a nurses than another nurse (or doctor, or anyone who works beside either)? Some would argue that you shouldn't "dip your well in the company ink", but I think a romance with a coworker is doable in my field...IF both parties are mature about it, and know how to separate their work and personal lives.

I once dated a coworker for almost a year and no one knew. It's not like we kept it a well-guarded secret. We just weren't stupid about it. I guess you could say we were, uh, adults. And when it ended, we just shrugged it off as not meant to be, and went about our lives, not bringing any drama into the office. That's generally how I roll anyway, unless you cheat on me. Then, I'm going to cut your penis off.

That being said, I have no issues with people dating within the workplace. UNLESS one or more parties involved is married to someone else.

If I had to list the top five things I hate the most, adulterers would rank high. I'm sure it stems from my own personal experiences and observations from my childhood. To this day, I look harshly upon those who step outside their marriage for fun on the side (unless it is one of those open-marriage things...and we have some of those, too). You cheat on your spouse, I look at you like you are the world's biggest piece of shit. If you have kids, even worse.

So, imagine my disgust when I heard about a well-known nurse shagging one of the staff doctors. Both initially married when the affair started, but she dumped her husband to be with this guy. Doc, for whatever reasons, is still with his wife. They both have kids.

Now when I see this manager, I think, "Oh look! It's the big, skanky whore!"

There are no secrets, even in a place this big. Only the truly talented can keep things under wraps, and those are the ones who are smart enough to know the difference between being on the clock, and not being on the clock. They don't bring their shit to work. Personal matters are left at the door.

I'm one of such people...but my life is boring (Dutch, remember?). What the housekeepers do is far more interesting than my personal life. Gross. But interesting.


Rachel said...

I hope it's OK that I mentioned your blog in my recent post.
You got me fired up!

Nuke said...

Nurses ARE rumored to be sexual dynamos. One of my close friends married one and could not be happier.

I am currently dating somebody from work. We don't hide but we don't advertise. I tried dating here when I was a manager, but was never comfortable (either of the 2 times). But now that I am a lowly contractor I don't feel bad at all! And speaking of my GF, not that I plan on cheating, could you refrain from telling her about the whole penis chopping thing?