Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Fooked in the Head

I blogged about my Gay-Not-Gay cousin a few months back. After that, I vowed not to get caught up in the drama, not to ask anymore questions. Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss. Besides, the family already descended upon her and chastised her for being dishonest with her current girlfriend, and she had an excuse for everything. I think everyone just sort of tired of it.

I was online yesterday, checking out some books online for my latest subject of interest (and I am not going to tell you what it is), when Cousin popped online and wanted to chat. Okay, no harm in menial family blather. Then, she unloads that she is in a quandry. Why? Apparently, Mr. Right(eous) admitted that he and his mother had a monumental arguement, and he damned her to hell. This bothers my cousin. I pointed out that mere mortal man can't damn a head of lettuce to hell, much less a human being. Her concern was the outburst, and the fact that he apparently is prone to them, and what if he does it to her??

I can understand her point as Cousin is the poster-child of Crappy Rotten Abusive Relationships. Then, she starts to make excuses: he's always had a hard relationship with his family, and he's about to be excommunicated by the LDS church.

Huh? Mr. Right(eous), who served a mission in Poland, who can read scripture in several different languages, who also is a temple worker?? I inquired further (because I'm nosy like that). Cousin casually mentions that he was recently bapatised into a Fundamentalist sect somewhere in Arizona. You know...the ones who hide out in the desert with their multiple wives, some of them underage, where the men are seen as prophets and the women as cattle...with handy little vaginas for pleasure and procreation.

What!?! I ask what the quandry is. Broom this guy fast, he wants to make you a pleural wife. Cousin says the pleural marriage thing doesn't bother her as long as God commands it. But she is still concerned because he might yell at her after they are married.

Methinks if you marry a polygamist, having him yell at you should be the least of your worries.

Fundie sects are notorious for incest in God's name. I cringe whenever I hear the stories, and go into convulsions when the media inevitibly ties them with the main LDS church. She defended this particular sect. "No, this one is different. They treat the women like queens and you have to be at least 4 generations apart to marry 4th cousins!"

Cough, cough, bullshit, cough, cough

How reassurring! Somehow, I think Fundie sects are sort of like those vacations that tout to be the best ever with pretty words and glossy photos; but after you sink you money into it, and arrive at your's a roach-infested room, cold showers, poor service and the crappiest vacation ever.

So, I am at a loss. I told her what I thought, and she said she appreciated my advice, but knowing my cousin as well as I do, I could almost imagine my words going right into one ear, and floating out of the other. I told her she would be better off staying gay.

But now, I am done with it. I've made my opinions known, and I am not going to get drawn into this mess.

However, I pity the jerk if he comes out to meet the family. We may not be the most righteous bunch of Mormons, but we can certainly smell a bullshitter a mile away.

No comments: