I know everyone wants to know certain things about my trip. Not about the weather, or the beaches, but the fact that I went with a guy I obviously like, and nothing happened. I called Mom when we got back into the U.S. Naturally, Paul (not dating!) was standing nearby, so this is how the conversation went...
Mom: Did anything happen?
Me: We hit a goat on one of our tours.
Mom: No...I mean did anything happen? Like...with you and Paul.
Me: Nope
Mom: Nothing?
Me: No
Mom: No smoochies?
Me: None
Mom: No hand holding?
Me: Nada
Mom: No cuddling?
Me: Not at all.
Mom: Did you at least talk about it?
Me: Nope.
Mom: Well...shit.
Paul called one of his friends, and this was the conversation I heard from my end.
Nope
(pause)
Negative
(pause)
No
(pause)
Nope
(pause)
No
(pause)
We hit a goat.
It's good to know that I'm not the only one in the crossfire.
7 comments:
You should both have matching jackets made. Those kind of satiny varsity jackets that sailors get with dragons on them.
On the back, in big arcing letters they can say "2007 WE HIT A GOAT CRUISE". Then it can list all of the ports of call where no hibbity jibbity took place.
Please tell me you got pictures of the goat.
The goat ran away before I had a chance to grab a pic. I did, however, manage to take a pic of the big dent the goat left in the van's bumper.
Happy Valentine's Day Heather!
Like you would tell you Mother if you got any action, as if
My mother will stand naked on her apartment balcony if she has had too much tequila. Her "my daughter's getting nookie" sense is honed a lot better than most.
It wouldn't matter if I lied to her or not, she would figure it out on her own eventually...so I don't even bother lying to her about such things.
"My mother will stand naked on her apartment balcony if she has had too much tequila."
I think I was married to her once.
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