Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Welcome Home to Me!

It's just after midnight, and I am up waiting for Paul (not dating!) to call me and let me know he made it home in one piece. I told him he could crash at my house, but he wanted to sleep in his own bed. I suspect he didn't want to listen to another night of me snoring. Ten nights of listening to me snore was probably a bit much. What can I say? I snored to drown him out.

So, our ship got into Ft. Lauderdale before the butt-crack of dawn Sunday morning. We packed the last of our items, said good-bye to the cabin, ate one last time at the community trough, and debarked the ship. Standing outside until we found a shuttle that would take us to the hotel because in all my infinite wisdom, I figured that by staying an extra day, we would avoid the massive crowds of people at the airport, all returning from their cruises.

Whatever! Over the course the weekend, twelve ships rotated out of Ft. Lauderdale and Miami...but more on that later.

We stayed at the Holiday Inn at Ft. Lauderdale Beach. What a shithole! We arrived around 11am. Now, I understand that all hotels have check-in time in the afternoon, but usually, you can get a room if you happen to get there early. Not with this place. We were able to leave our luggage in the little bellhop closet and go find lunch, walk on the beach, take some pictures, etc, etc. We returned to the hotel around 2:30. No rooms were ready, and no one was getting checked in until their check-in time of 4pm. The lobby was full of luggage and cranky cruise passengers. One couple even had their emailed confirmation in hand, promising early check-in, but were told they would have to wait until 4pm like everyone else because their room was a "special room" and wouldn't be ready until 4pm. No apologies, but plenty of smartass comments from the staff at the front desk. One guest was ready to climb over the front desk and throttle the scrawny kid named Derek who was being a ginormous dickhead. Apparently, in Ft. Lauderdale, customer service is merely an option. At one point, the entire front desk staff retreated to the back to get away from the angry mob that they created.

Now, I consider myself pretty easygoing when it comes to vacations and such. I'm not nit picky as some people are who think their entire stay is ruined if they see one discoloration on the carpet. However, this place was a shithole. The floors were so nasty that Paul almost passed out when I kneeled on the carpet to dig around in my suitcase. Mold in the bathroom. Hair on the washcloth that Paul swore up and down was a pubic hair. Bad! Bad! Bad!

Needless to say, I won't be staying at a Holiday Inn again. I'm also going to post a review on Trip Advisor.

Rain began pouring down in Ft. Lauderdale that evening, so we ordered pizza to be delivered to the hotel. It sucked, too. We were starting to notice a trend.

Exhausted, we turned in around 8pm. Paul began snoring immediately. I noticed that the first person to fall asleep fared better because if you didn't fall asleep first, you would never get to sleep because the other person's snoring would prevent it from happening. In my sleep deprived delirium, I called my mother's cell phone and left a message which consisted entirely of Paul snoring. The next day, I spoke with Mom who told me she almost called her phone company to complain she was getting obscene phone calls.

Monday morning, we got up, got ready, gathered our crap, caught a shuttle, went to the airport. This is where those twelve cruise ships I mentioned come into play. Hundreds of people! Lines everywhere!! People were getting agitated and mutiny was imminent. We got there around 12:30pm, and actually made it to the gate 10 minutes before our plane started boarding around 3:20. Some people actually missed their flights.

AirTran sucks. I shall never fly with them again either. I should have listened to Kant when she told me they were awful. Their seats are roughly the equivalent of a wooden box with a thin layer of toilet paper spread over it. You try sitting on that for 3 hours straight and see how you like it.

After a layover in Atlanta, we made it home around 9:30 pm to snow. A far cry from 80-some degrees and sunshine. The ride home was harrowing. All I could imagine was us sliding into someone or something, and the airbag blowing up in my face.

So now I am home. I have a new fireplace mantle, courtesy of The Boyfriend (I'll post pictures later). Mom cleaned the house. Mom and The Boyfriend cleaned the garage so now you can park two cars in there instead of just one.

Screw unpacking...I'm going to bed. It's going to be so nice to snore myself to sleep.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!! And glad you made it home safe and sound. :)