Today I went out to order another set of eyeglasses. I have a vision plan, and they pay for a new set of frames every two years. My current eye glasses are still in great shape, but I just wanted something new. Not to mention I can just leave a pair at work and carry the other set with me.
So, I drove up to God's Country (aka Platte County) to The Eye Center of Parkville. I bought my last pair from them, liked their service, not to mention that they already had all my info on file and I hate the paperwork that comes with switching.
There was one woman, sitting at the little station where you actually put in your order. She had brown hair, and predictably, she was trying on those glasses that Sarah Palin wears. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't until this woman pulled her hair back into the Sarah-Palin-School-Marm style, that I actually threw up in my mouth a little.
It doesn't say a whole lot about you as a candidate when the only "good" thing you contribute is a fashion trend for bored housewives everywhere. Really, the people over on Fox news masturbate over her eyeglasses every chance they get. I've seen it.
IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO FIND ANOTHER RUNNING MATE, JOHN!!!
Anyhoo, I was paired with a Happy Helperton who went around with me trying on various frames. That's how it works. You get your own person to help you pick out frames. Sort of like a personal shopper, only she tells you if the frames look bad on your face. I have a particular liking for frames that only have the top part of the lenses rimmed. This enables me to wear my glasses further down my nose. I can still read, but I can also look up at you over the top and give you the Crabby Nurse Look. Multi-functional!!
After trying on a dozen or so pairs of frames, I finally settled on a pair. Still the half-rims, but a little trendy, but not so much that I look like I stole them from an old school teacher from the 40's. They are made by some company called Lafont. I know this because 3 people at the store cooed about it.
"Ooooh. These are made in France. Everything they make comes from France. Including the screws!!"
Whatever. Just as long as I can see what I'm reading, and I don't look like a complete dork. Or Sarah Palin.