I just realized that this is a holiday weekend. Naturally, I have work the entire thing (save for Monday), but it's not like my ever-shrinking family has anything planned. No special lake-filled activities...just my mother going down to the lake to pick up more of her junk so she can start her life as a partying 50-something year old.
This whole divorce thing is making things very, very akward.
While I was at the craft store the other day, a very depressing thought occurred to me: I really have nothing to look forward to this summer. All the fun activities that I usually look forward to are directly tied in to my step-father's family. While my step-dad harbors no ill-will to myself and my brothers, I fairly confident the rest of his family cannot remain impartial. We are guilty by association alone.
On paper, I have a large biological family. In reality, I can't stand 85% of them. I told my mother recently that if I ever got married, I would elope so I didn't have to have family there. She wanted to know if I was ashamed of my family.
Isn't this a given? I shouldn't have to answer this question.
As of late, I've been in a fowl mood. Whenever I hear my mother coo on the phone to Sid the Fisherman (the internet guy), it grates like glass shards on a chalkboard, and I want to take her phone away and run over it with my car...multiple times.
It is not going to go well the first time she tries to introduce me to this guy. It might even be in her best interest to not bother at all.
I've been pretty grouchy all week. I could attribute it to PMS, but I could also attribute it to stress that is nearing the breaking point.
My only outlet is arts and crafts. The Rug of Angst. The Baby Blanket of High Blood Pressure.
I need a better outlet.