32! 32! 32! 32!

I can't recollect the one time I had my face buried in another woman's hoo-hah. I probably can't recollect because it was 32 years ago today, and that other woman was my mother.

She was giving birth to me...for those of you who were starting to get excited.

Today was like any other day.

Somehow, a rumor got started that I don't ever like making a fuss or anything on my birthday. Since then, I've been lucky to get a card. On my 30th birthday, Paul (not dating!) built me a cake...my favorite of yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I didn't know what to make of it...but the cake was pretty damn tasty.

I think this rumor is the direct result of someone not wanting to buy me a present...or give me cake. Bastards.

So anyway, in honor of my birthday, I took a nap. Then, I watered the lawn, grilled a pork chop, painted my nails, and had some cake batter ice cream. It's not a real cake, but good enough.

However, I'm open to belated birthday celebrations if anyone has any ideas.