Thursday, March 15, 2007

On Colons and Yard Work

Yesterday was so lovely, and today was chilly...and I didn't like it one bit.

Yesterday, I brought out the new yard tools, raked the front yard, spread grass seed with my new seed spreader, rigged up the new sprinkler with the new hose, and watered the front lawn for about an hour or so. Fortunately, the sprinkler has a big enough reach (and the front yard was small enough), that I didn't need to keep repositioning it.

Last week, Mom sent me a link to a site that sold some sort of colon-cleansing system. Like a dumbass, I clicked on it. (If you have a strong constitution, you should, too!) I wasn't so much disturbed by what was expelled by those who took the product (I am a nurse, after all), but the fact they fished around the toilet to catch it, then set it on their toilet bowl rim to take pictures.

At any rate...Mom wanted to know if this would be safe for her to take because the idea of something so vile residing in her colon was giving her much anxiety. Not so much anxiety that she was willing to shell out the obscene money they were asking for their product, but enough to go to GNC and find something similar.

Operation: Colon Blow has begun. Hopefully, she won't take any pictures. I'd have to disown her then.

Today, I went and had a tasty sushi lunch with Trish, stopping by my credit union afterwards. After I left, I planted face off the curb and slightly strained my ankle. The only thing injured more was my pride. No one was in the immediate vicinity that saw me, but I'm sure someone far away was laughing his ass off.


Xavier Onassis said...

You know, when I saw "On Colons and Yard Work" the first image that came to mind was a freakish and tragic accident involving a rake.

And yet, I read it anyway.

Kristine Filegirl said...

So, as a nurse, IS it a good idea to do something like that? It looks painful. Or like having long, disgusting babies. Good grief, those testimonials were hilarious!