Saturday, March 03, 2007

Now I'm Depressed

In southern California, a 420lb woman enters the ER complaining of a stomach ache, only to find she is 9 months pregnant and about to give birth. Shockingly, she had no idea she was pregnant.

Even more shocking, is that someone is having sex with her.

Even more shocking than is sex physiologically possible? It takes at least six nurses to put a foley catheter in a 500lb patient.

I'm experiencing a big date drought, and stuff like this happens. I am depressed.

I'm now going to go drown my sorrows in cake batter ice cream. Maybe if I gain another 300lbs, my social life will pick up.


Paul said...

oh my God!!! I never really thought about that. I am guessing that most big people just go for a flap of flesh, insert, and have at it. I guess this was an exception.
I would recommend Edy's Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookie ice cream. It is tasty and you don't have them knocking at your door. I may have purchased the Samoa flavor too, pending tasting it until the thin mint is gone. Having both open would be too much like admitting I have a problem.........

Heather said...

You remembered your password!!

I'm so proud.

Faith said...

You crack me the hell up, sista! I love that you know shit like what you do about the catheter that I would never know...very helpful info.