The Boyfriend works for a company who's boss is Japanese. Mom has been with him for a couple work-related gatherings, and there is usually a lot of bowing that's going on. Mom says The Boyfriend knows only a couple words in Japanese. Mom only knows one. I figured if I could teach her a couple useful phrases, that would definitely score big with the boss.
Mom: I'll tell him mushi-mushi at the next party.
Me: Don't do that.
Mom: Why? It's a real phrase.
Me: No...it's moshi, moshi...and it's the Japanese greeting for answering the phone. You tell him mushi, mushi...he's going either think you are complaining about the food, or you are retarded.
Mom: Well, what else can I say?
Me: If it is evening, you can say konbawa. It means good evening.
Mom: Corn ball what?
Mom: Corn ball...
Me: No! (shakes head and sighs)
Mom: What about another word?
Me: Ask him how he is...O Genki desu ka?
Mom: Oh kinky dis qwa?
Me: No! Oh-gen-ki-des-ka. Ka! Ka!
Mom: O kinki des qwa.
Me: No! There is no kinky. Why does everything have to be about sex?
Mom: What about an a different phrase?
Mom: You did what with your ass?
Me: You know what? Don't say anything. Just bow and smile or you will cause some sort of international crisis.
Mom: Mushi mushi?