Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Celebrate Wearing of the Raincoat!

February 14-21 is National Condom Week. Because I am a professional nurse, and public health is my interest, I present to you, some handy little slogans for NCW. You know, so you are prepared to rise for the occasion.

1) Cover your stump before you hump

2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker

3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie

4) When in doubt, shroud you spout

5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner

6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong

7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it

8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey

9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter

10) If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize

11) If you go into heat, package your meat

12) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse

13) Especially in December, gift wrap your member

14) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker

15) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool

16) The right selection, is to protect your erection

17) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil

18) A crank with armor, will never harm her

19) If you really love her, wear a cover

20) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake

21) Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener

22) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket

23) No glove, no love

24) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye

25) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver

26) Avoid a frown, contain your clown

27) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam

28) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed

29) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink

30) Cloak the joker before you poke her

31) Encase that torch before you paint her porch

32) Cape your throbber before you bob her

33) After detection sheath your erection

34) Don't surprise her, plug your Geyser

35) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle

36) House your noodle then release your strudel

37) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound

38) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey

39) Don't be a fool cover your tool

40) Stitch that switch then itch her niche

41) Wrap that tool to catch the drool

42) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive

43) Restrain your log then plow her bog

44) Cover old pete then grind her meat

45) Wrap your bate before you mate

46) Can your worm before you squirm

47) Bag the mole then do her hole

48) Cover your vein then drive her insane

49) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle

50) Protect your dink then fluff her mink

51) Hide ole harry then take her cherry

52) Wrap that spout then bore her out

53) Shroud your trout then make her shout


Erin said...

17 = ew.
Before you check her oil??
27 = most creative

(Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam)

Donna said...

Well, at least I learned some new names to call my husband's johnson. Happily, we haven't needed condoms for years. We're monogamous, and I got fixed. Plus now I'm old.

DLC said...

21 could be wildly misconstrued to advocate the use of oscar meyer products.

Suzy said...

Somebody needs to stumble this or digg it. I don't know how to do it and you don't have the icons on your blog so I have no idea what to do. But it could easily go viral.

Well done.

Heather said...

Oh, these aren't mine, but various ads thought up by various people around the world.

Safe sex is everyone's concern.

"Before you visit the taco, make sure you poncho Paco."

Midtown Miscreant said...

Dont become a Pappy, cover Mr. Happy.

Eolaí gan Fhéile said...

Suddenly I feel underdressed.

"When you take out your woody, put on your hoodie"

Heather said...

Prevent the funk, capture your spunk.

Ambitious Fledgling said...

LOL I think you have the funniest blog I've read in awhile. rofl