Thursday, February 28, 2008


This morning, I was driving to my dentist's office for my much overdo cleaning. The last time I had it scheduled, I came down with strep and cancelled. I never got around to rescheduling.

That was a year ago.

En route, Mom calls me on her cell phone, almost in tears. She's at the doctor's office, still feeling like crap, and tells me that the doctors are trying to figure out what to do with her. Uncertain of how she will react to a shot of antibiotics (she has allergies), they can either give her the shot and send her home and hope she doesn't go into anaphalactic shock...or they can admit her. If they do decide to give her a shot and send her home, they would prefer someone to stay with her. Oh say, someone like a nurse.

Now here's a dilemma. Sure, I can go keep an eye on Mom, but if she were to go into anaphalactic shock, I would be totally screwed (and so would she for that matter). What person is readily equipped to manage such a crisis in the confines of their own home?? By the time EMS would arrive, her airway would be shut tighter than Meesha's wallet on Valentine's Day. That would be a bad, bad thing.

I told her to call me once she knew the next definitive course of action. Ten minutes later, I'm standing in the waiting room of the dentists office and she calls, crying. They plan to admit. I tell her to go home and pack an overnight bag, and I will meet her at the hospital right after the dentist is finished with me.

Incidentally, my dentist was shocked that my teeth were so clean considering it had been a year since they last saw me. Yeah, I gots the mad toothbrush skillz.

Stopping by the store to pick up some pj pants (because I'd really not see my mom's ass hanging out the back of her gown), I go to the hospital where she is set up with her little iv pole and lunch. The room is not set up to encourage family members to stay the night. Too bad.

Some patients come with their own private duty nurse if they happen to have one in the family. Feel safe at night: sleep with a nurse...or give birth to one.

Those little hard chairs are going to be a bitch to sleep in.


meesha.v said...

I am Jewish,what can I do

Donna said...

Cliff uses an electric toothbrush religiously, and his dentist finally told him there's no need to come in every six months because there's nothing to clean OFF the teeth. He now goes once a year.

Ummm, I'll tell my daughter she should have been a nurse. One of the main pleasures of motherhood is pouring guilt on the heads of our children. Believe me, my mother taught me well how to do it.

Spyder said...

Keep us posted on Mom.

Ambitious Fledgling said...

"By the time EMS would arrive, her airway would be shut tighter than Meesha's wallet on Valentine's Day."

Now that shit is effing funny.

Midtown Miscreant said...

Hope your mom gets better soon. Good luck with the plastic chair.